that hinders me from following this import
wherever it may lead. But do not let this influence you in your
judgments. We have but a short life to live here, and I would offer
mine to some worthy end: this is all I desire. My health is very
good. I am still at Fruitlands, and will remain here until something
further happens. Accept my deepest love."

While waiting for an answer to this letter, the diary shows how
continuously Isaac's mind was working over this problem of a final
separation from his kindred. It seems probable that it was, on the
whole, the deepest emotional one that he had to solve. Both filial
duty and natural affection were strong sentiments with him. One
notices in these letters how courteous and urbane is the tone he
uses, even when insisting most on the necessity which lies upon him
to cut all the ties which bind him. This was a family trait. In a
letter written to us last September in answer to a question, Mr.
Charles A. Dana incidentally refers to a visit he paid Isaac Hecker
at his mother's house. "It was a very interesting family," he writes,
"and the cordiality and sweetness of the relations which prevailed in
it impressed me very greatly."

The entry we are about to quote opens with an odd echo from a certain
school of mysticism with which Isaac about this time became familiar:

"July 22, 1843.--Man requires a new birth--the birth of the feminine
in him.

"The question arises in my mind whether it is necessary for me to
require the concurrence of my brothers in the views of life which now
appear to demand of me their actualization.

"Can I not adopt simple garmenture and diet without their doing so?
Must I needs have their concurrence? Can I not leave results to
themselves? If my life is purer than that of those around me, can I
not trust to its own simple influence?

"But if there is a great difference of spirit, can we live together?
Does not like seek like? In money matters things must certainly be
other than they have been. We must agree that no accounts shall be
kept between ourselves, let the consequences be what they may. I
would rather suffer evils from a dependence on the spirit of love
than permit that of selfishness to exist between us. I ask not a cent
above what will supply my immediate, necessary wants. . . They may
demand ten times more than I, and it would be a happiness to me to
see them use it, even if I thought they used it wrongfully. All the
check I would be willin