ITATER."--Don't doubt for a moment. Sell everything right off,
and invest proceeds by cheque with your friend."

"A.S.S."--The Dividend days of the "_Ex-Nihilo-Fit Loan and Insurance
Company_ are April 1, up to mid-day, and September 31.

So much for some of the principal Correspondents who require an answer
in my weekly article. As for myself, I can only say that my motto is,
"_Confidentia Illimitata et Nulla Pecunia redditur_." Within the last
month the gross earnings of the office on behalf of my clients has
been L12,345,678,910 which compares favourably with the previous
month. Every penny of this, equal to 50 per cent. profit to every one
of my clients, will be distributed within a week with a handsome bonus
of twenty-five pounds to everyone sending in his coupon or cheque
for fifteen sovereigns by twelve o'clock next Tuesday, after which
hour it is impossible for any one, be he who he may, from Kaiser to
Chimney-sweeper, to participate in the enormous profit which will have
been honestly earned by

Yours truly,

CROESUS.

[Footnote 2: N.B.--Note change of address.]

* * * * *

SHORTLY TO APPEAR.--_A Morning without Boots_, by the Author of _A
Knight without Spurs_.

* * * * *

POPULAR SONGS RE-SUNG;

OR, MISS BOWDLER AT THE MUSIC HALLS.

NO. III.--THE SPOOKS IN THE SQUARE.

AIR--"_THE GOBLINS IN THE CHURCHYARD_."

I went down to the Psychical Society one night,
And heard them talk of Spooks and things that filled me with affright.
The Psychical Society, as every member boasts,
Was founded with the object of investigating Ghosts!
Now Ghosts, the modern species, are of very various sorts,
For like some plants, as botanists say, they seem to run to "sports."
I used to think a spectre _was_ a spectre, but I find
The "Psychical" can furnish Spooks of every class and kind.

_CHORUS._

[Illustration]

Some of the Ghosts are little, some of the Ghosts are big,
Some come in the guise of a headless man, and some of a spectre pig.
Some of them laugh "Ha! ha!" Some of them wail "Heigho!"
And I felt that night in a doose of a fright before it was time to go.

I had read _Phantasmagoria_ by that writer quaint but grand,
Who penned _The Hunting of the Snark_ and _Alice in Wonderland_.
And I thought I knew a thing or two, or might be even three,
About a Ghoul, and a Fay or Troll, and a Brownie or Banshee.
I kne