Lady.

[Illustration]

"Quite a mistake," said one; "instead of taking off a leg, or showing
the strength of a billiard cue, he makes men believe that they are
swimming in a tank!"

"Very undignified," remarked another; "it would have been so much
better had he performed a surgical operation--say, setting a compound
fracture of the leg, like that performed by two medical men in 1845;
and more interesting to the vast majority of the audience."

"But the Alhambra was excellent," was the reply. "Suppose we send
to our Committee a Report of the 'Magnetic Lady' and ignore the
Hypnotist?"

And so it was decided, and it was time to write their Report. Then
pens, ink, and paper were produced, and the _Savants_ prepared for
work. They had scarcely commenced, when a gentleman stood in their
midst, and glared at them. He gave them each a disc, and commanded
them to gaze upon its surface. Then, one by one, they fell over fast
asleep. He placed them back in their chairs.

"Now for your Report," he murmured. "And so you would ignore _my_
show and praise another! But you are in my power, and _shall_ obey
me! Write what I dictate!" And so they wrote. And, strange as it may
appear to non-believers in Hypnotism, the Report, when published,
was found to be an excellent advertisement for the Royal Westminster
Aquarium!

* * * * *

[Illustration: SENILE FELINE AMENITIES.

"WELL, GOOD AFTERNOON--I'M GOING TO CALL ON MY MOTHER!"

"WHAT! YOU DON'T MEAN TO SAY YOU'VE GOT A MOTHER _LIVING_?"

"OH YES--AND SHE DON'T LOOK A BIT OLDER THAN _YOU_ DO--I ASSURE YOU!"]

* * * * *

OUR FINANCIAL COLUMN.

_Orl Court, E.C.[2]_

I am preparing a big _coup_, and wish all my friends to be in it. My
friends are legion, it is true, but they may depend upon me to do the
best for all. Nothing on the gigantic scale I am now preparing has
been seen or heard of in the Financial World since the days of the
Flood, when NOAH's floating capital weathered the storm. What was
the stock worth when Father NOAH once again touched land? Expect the
biggest result ever known. I may be sanguine. I have the right to be
so.

[Illustration]

"PONY."--Yes. Buy A. and C.N.B.--Invest big cheque with yours truly.
The only safe and profitable investment.

"D.A.H."--Don't you do it, or you'll be H.A.D. Send cheques here.
Strict account kept, and gains delivered in cash by special messenger.

"A HES