l twist--
"And our 'broad brown smudge' gives way to the fudge cranks call
'Impressionist.'
I've lost my head, as perhaps you mark--though I keep a ventriloquist
tongue.
What's the use of a head to an Artist Ghost, who has never a chance
to be hung?"

_CHORUS_--SOME OF THE GHOSTS, &C.

A Lawyer's Ghost wept on his post, and then began to state
That the Revolution of Sixty-eight--he meant of Six-_and_-eight--
For the abolition of needless fees, and the stopping of useless jaw,
Had capped the murder of Privilege by the massacre of Law:
Order, this Spook went on to state, was the prey of police--less prank,
All the real jam of life was lost with the abolition of Rank.
Here he wept! Ah! _can_ there be a sight a pitiful breast to thrill
Like the Ghost of a Lawyer dropping a tear o'er the Ghost of a
Lawyer's Bill?

_CHORUS_--SOME OF THE GHOSTS, &C.

I woke. A pain possessed my head. The gathered Ghosts were gone,
And I lay there in Trafalgar Square, on a cold stone alone.
I seemed to hear a wailing cry, a whisper on the breeze,
Which said, in accents I well knew, "_Now then, Time, Gentlemen,
please_!"
It may have been the warning to recall those vagrant Ghosts
To ---- wheresoever they abide, poor pallid spectral hosts!
What it all meant I cannot tell, but this at least I know,
To that Psychical Society no more at night I'll go!

_CHORUS._

Some of the Ghosts did goggle, some of the Spooks did stare,
But there they sat in a spectral row round "the Squirts" in Trafalgar
Square.
They all gave a loud "Ha! ha!" they all gave a loud "Ho! ho!"
And I turned and fled, and got home to bed as the rooster began to crow!

* * * * *

THE NAKED TRUTH.--Our old friend, Mrs. RAMSBOTHAM, was reading, the
other day, a letter in the _Times_ about "Electrical Tramways," when
she came upon a line stating that "two naked conductors" would be
used. Much shocked, she was about to look at something else in the
paper when she noticed that "one of the conductors was to be carried
on poles," and another to be "laid rigid between the rails!" Horrified
at this apparent brutality, the worthy lady has been writing letters
(in draft) to the Commissioner of Police ever since!

* * * * *

A FRIENDLY TIP TO THE FIGHTING FACTIONS.

Recrimination is vexation,
Sedition is as bad;
Home Rule the-o-