awyer and Queen's
Counsel. This will be the more valuable, as the "remarkable days" are
few and far between, according to WHITAKER.

_July_.--Note that on the 3rd the Dog Days commence, and that it is
also the anniversary of the Battle of Sadowa. If you pronounce the
victory "sad-hour" you should get a jest calculated to cause merriment
amongst persons who have spent the best years of their lives on desert
islands, or as Chancery Division Chief Clerks. On the 24th the Window
Tax was abolished, of which you may say that although a priceless boon
it was only a _light_ relief. If you can only introduce this really
clever _bon mot_ into a speech at a wedding breakfast, a railway
indignation meeting or a debate in the House of Lords, it is sure
to go with bowls not to say shrieks. PENN died on the 30th, and in
founding Pennsylvania was mightier than the sword. This announcement
is the nearest approach to levity that in common decency can be
tolerated in a mourning coach.

_August_.--On the 1st, in 1834, no less than 770,280 British slaves
were freed. You might ask satirically, how many slaves (be they
husbands or be they wives) now exist? You might offer this to a
clergyman to be used in a sermon. On the 26th, Anniversary of the
Battle of Cressy. Opportunity for saying (at the breaking-up of an
infant school) that on account of the extremely warm reception to
which the French were welcomed on that occasion, the victory might be
appropriately called, "the Battle of Mustard-and-Cressy." This will be
found pleasing by a Colonial Briton home on furlough, and an Honorary
Royal Academician living in retirement.

_September_.--On the 1st, Shooting at Partridges commences.
Opportunity for aiming old jokes about firing off guns without
loading, killing dead birds, &c, &c. On the 3rd, the present Lord
Chancellor born in 1825--the name of GIFFARD entombed in Hals-_bury_.
A little obscure this, but, if carefully worked out, will amply repay
time and attention. On the 9th THOMAS WATTS (who may be amusingly
called "Watts-his-name"), died in 1869. Not much in this, but may
possibly fill up an awkward pause during the reading of a will, or
the arrival of fresh hot water at a newly-married lady's initial
hospitality at five o'clock tea.

_October_.--FIELDING, the novelist, _bowled out_ on the 8th in
1754. Battle of Agincourt on the 25th--an awful example to habitual
drunkards. Pheasant-shooting commences. Right time to tell that story