with
his bute.--

Suffice to say, the whole village called on me that day, and I was
kicked down stairs 32 times by the watch.--Hosswhipt by 17
wimmen--besides bein' stuck full of needles by a lot more.

I got so used to bein' kicked down stairs, that evry time a man come in
the door, I would place my back towards him and sing out:

"Kick away, my friend, I'm in the Editorial biziness to-day--to-morrow I
go hents--there's rather too much exsitement runnin' a noosepaper, and I
shall resine this evenin."

When I got home that nite, I looked like an angel carryin' a palm-leaf
fan in his hand, and clothed in purple and fine linen. My body was
purpler than a huckleberry pie, and my linen was torn into pieces finer
than a postage-stamp.

"Sarved you rite, you old fool," said Mrs. GREEN, as she stood rubbin'
camfire onto me. "In ritin' noosepaper articles, editors orter name
their man. A shoe which hain't bilt for anybody in particular, will get
onto evrybody in general's foot. When it does, the bilder had better get
ready for numerous bootin's, from that self-same shoe."

Between you and I, PUNCHINELLO, MARIAH is about 1/2 rite. Too-rally
ewers.

HIRAM: GREEN, ESQ.,

_Lait Gustise of the Peece._

* * * * *

COMIC ZOOLOGY

Order, Cetacea.--The Right (and wrong) Whale.

The largest of the Cetacea is the Right whale, of which--so persistently
is it hunted down--there will soon be but few Left. Some flippant jokist
has remarked that there is no Wrong whale, but this is all Oily Gammon.
There is a right and a wrong to everything--not excepting the leviathan
of the deep.

By the courtesy of the Fisheries, the planting of a harpoon in the
vitals of a Right whale gives the planter a pre-emption claim to it. If
subsequently appropriated by another party it becomes, so far as that
party is concerned, the Wrong whale, and on Trying the case its value
may be recovered in a court of law,--with Whaling costs.

The sperm whale, or cachalot, (genus _physeter_) is a rare visitor in
the higher latitudes. Now and then a solitary specimen is taken in the
Northern Atlantic, but the best place to catch a lot is on the Pacific
coast. It may be mentioned incidentally, as a curious meteorological
coincidence, that Whales and Waterspouts are invariably seen together,
and hence it was, (perhaps,) that the long-necked cloud pointed out by
HAMLET to POLONIUS, reminded that old Grampus of a Whale.