d feel that she needed a man to slide down the hill of time
with her, and she was rather fond of SMITH.

Mr. JOHN SMITH wanted to marry her for herself alone, though he had made
inquiries and knew all about that $100,000.

Thus it was.

II.

"That's all!" Miss VAVASOUR had said.

But was it all? She thought it was matrimony; J.S. thought it was matter
o' money, and J.S. had a long head--an awfully long head.

Mr. JOHN SMITH sat before the grate. His auburn locks, his Roman nose,
his little grey eyes, his thin lips, his big ears, and each particular
hair of his red whiskers, expressed intense disgust.

He was day-dreaming, seeing visions in the fire. There he saw Miss
ANGELINA VAVASOUR. Her eyes were ten dollar gold pieces, her nose a
little pile of ducats, each cheek seemed swelled out by large quantities
of dollars, every tooth in her head was a double-eagle, and her hair was
a mass of ingots. He heaved a sigh and took a fresh chew.

The tobacco seemed to refresh him; he walked the floor for a while, and
then sat in his chair. Suddenly his countenance was irradiated, like a
ripening squash at early morn, and he sprang to his feet, crying out,
"Eureka! I'll do it."

III.

Eureka! How? What? Thus.

One month afterwards our hero presented himself at the house of Miss
VAVASOUR, carrying under his arm a large volume, bound in calf.

"Miss VAVASOUR," said he, "I come to repeat my proposition to you. Will
you reconsider?"

"Sir?" said she.

"Things have changed," said our hero.

"Changed!" echoed she. "What do you mean, Mr. JOHN SMITH?"

"Call me not by that vile cognomen," quoth he. "Look!" and he opened the
Session Laws at page 1004.

She read:

"STATE OF NEW YORK, COUNTY OF BLANK.

I, JONATHAN JERUSALEM, Clerk of said County, do hereby certify that the
following change of name has been made by the County Court of this
County, viz.:

JOHN SMITH to AUGUSTUS VAVASOUR.

In testimony whereof, I have set my hand and the seal of the County,
June 3d, 1870. JONATHAN JERUSALEM, _Clerk_." [L.S.]

She fell into his arms, and rested her palpitating head upon his
palpitating bosom. He pulled up his shirt-collar, trod on the cat, and
gently whispered, "$100,000."

MORAL.

A word to the wise. Go and do like-wise. LOT.

* * * * *

Gummy.

The following is from a Western paper:

"At Council Buffs, Iowa, a woman who don't chew gum is out of style, and
gets the cold should