ent. On, on, he went, nor turned aside for jagged
cleft or sharp-edged stone. A ship, loaded with queensware, had been
wrecked near shore, and through a vast mass of broken plates, and cups,
and saucers, Mr. P. went,--straight and swift as an arrow.

At last, wet, bleeding, ragged, scratched, and feint, he reached the
shore. Said IDA, as she supported him towards her dwelling: "How did you
ever come to be wrecked on such a day as this?"

Mr. P. hesitated. But with such a noble creature, the truth would surely
be the best. He told her all.

"Oh!" said he. "Dear girl, 'twas I, myself, who hewed down my mast and
scuttled my fair bark. And I did it, maiden fair! that thy brave arm
might rescue me from the watery deep, (you know what a good thing it
would be for both of us when it got in the papers,) and that on thy
hardy bosom I might be borne--"

"Born jackass!" interrupted IDA. "I believe that everybody who comes to
Newport make fools of themselves about me; but you are certainly the
Champion Fool of the Lime Rocks."

Mr. P. couldn't deny it.

* * * * *

Alphabetical.

From the insult passed upon Count BENDETTI, at Ems, it appears that the
Prussian government does not always mind its P's and Q's.

* * * * *

A ROSE BY ANY OTHER NAME.

A Love Tale.

I.

"I won't do it--there!"

Miss ANGELINA VAVASOUR sat her little fat body down in a chair, slapped
her little fat hands upon her little fat knees, swelled her little fat
person until she looked like a big gooseberry just ready to burst, and
then turned her little fat red face up to Mr. JOHN SMITH, who was
standing before her.

"I regret," said Mr. J.S., "that you should refuse to be Mrs. JOHN
SMITH." (ANGELINA shuddered.) "Might I ask you why?"

"No," said she. "Say, my age."

"But I don't object to that," said J.S.

"Well, I won't," said ANGELINA, "that's all!"

J.S. rubbed the fur on his hat the wrong way, pulled up his shirt
collar, looked mournfully at the idol of his heart, and departed.

Why did she refuse him? Listen!

About a thousand or two years ago--well, perhaps we had better not go so
far back--anyhow, Miss VAVASOUR had ancestors, and she was proud of
them; she had a name, and she gloried in it; she had $100,000, and
therefore insisted on keeping her aristocratic name; she had kept it for
forty years, and was willing to take a contract for the rest of the job,
though she di