I may hint to anyone who lectures or preaches in the Highlands, not to
adopt a patronising attitude or make it appear that he is talking down
to the audience. Such a feature would be at once detected and deeply
resented. A well-known Professor lectured to a Bute audience on
Electricity, and out of ignorance, spoke in a very elementary way to the
audience, defining the simplest terms, and interspersing a great many
"_you know's_" and "_you see's_." The chairman, in proposing a vote of
thanks, slyly remarked: "We have listened to-night to a very good
discourse, and I'm only sorry there are so few young people here. Next
time the Professor comes to speak to us, I hope to see all the
school-children in the hall, for the lecture to-night was admirably
adapted to their capacity."

COMING TO THE POINT.

A very loquacious lawyer proposed a vote of thanks to the chairman in
the following fashion: "Ladies and gentlemen," he said, "it is often a
very difficult thing to come to the point. When I was at College, I
consented once to write an essay on 'The Progress of America,' the
subject being one of my own choosing. I wrote twenty-five pages of
preliminary matter, and at the end of my writing, I found that Columbus
was not landed. As my essay was to bring my hearers up-to-date on
American progress, I became nettled at my failure to _get Columbus
ashore_ and went round canvassing among my friends to secure a
substitute. No one would relieve me, so I was forced to slaughter an
aunt. I was wired for, by arrangement, on the day before the meeting,
and responded with great alacrity, knowing that there would be no
funeral. Without wasting more words let me on _this_ occasion come to
the point, and ask you to accord to our worthy chairman a very hearty
vote of thanks for the brilliant way in which he has kept us all in
order this evening."

MORAL OBLIGATION.

A minister of a western parish thought it his duty, in the course of his
introductory speech, to make some jovial remarks on the subject of
conscience and moral obligation. "A student of my acquaintance," said
he, "went to Arrochar on Loch Long by excursion steamer. At mid-day,
being thirsty, he _drifted thoughtlessly_ into the hotel and asked for a
cup of tea. With this beverage he washed over some dry biscuits he had
brought with him from home. Imagine his surprise on being told that the
cup of tea would cost him two shillings. Bang went not one sixpence but
four! He l