and vitriolic tongue, and
delivered himself thus: "What have I not done for the island? What have
these reprobates ever done? Who was it that got the frequent Macbrayne
connection with the mainland? _I did._ Who got up the concert to buy
seats for visitors coming north from Glasgow? And yet for every blessing
I give them, I get ten curses. _But I'll choke them yet._" It was
needless for the United Frees to demand a plebiscite--or, as they called
it, a _ple-biscuit_--the dominie was too forceful, persistent, and
phraseful for them, and at the public meeting he laughed down a teetotal
opponent by singing out: "Sit down on your seat, man; _it's the drink
that's speaking, no' you!_"

No matter what the subject may be, there is usually a smack of
ecclesiasticism in the ordinary give-and-take of conversation. I cannot
illustrate this better than by giving the Lewis man's reply to an
enquiry as to _how his wooden leg was behaving_. The enquirer was a
newly-elected United Free elder, while he of the timber toes was a
staunch Disruptionist. "Well," said the latter, "my wooden leg is not
unlike a U. F. elder; it's not exactly perfection, but, considering
everything, we must just be putting up with what we can get." This was
said at a time when the Wee Frees were in a big majority in certain
parts of the Highlands, and when, as a consequence, United Free elders
had to be selected out of diminished congregations.

TYPICAL ANECDOTES.

The venerable Lord Halsbury, so well known for his judgment in the great
Church case, resided, shortly after the decision, in the neighbourhood
of Forres. Men plucked each other by the sleeve as he passed along the
street, and pointed with awe to the keen-witted lawyer who had caused
such a kick-up in the realm. His most innocent doings were watched. One
day he went into a book-shop and made a purchase. When he came out, in
rushed a brace of theologians to enquire what he had bought. It turned
out that he had purchased a copy of _Comic Cuts_. The news was all round
Forres in an hour's time, and caused much consternation. "What great men
do, the less will prattle of," and it is so difficult for the former to
act up to their heroic role.

How thoroughly our dear native land has enjoyed its theological battles!
Will there ever be a truce to the long wars of faith? One cannot see
much ground for a too sanguine hope. After a library had been given to a
little village in the West, I paid the usual vis