ce. "Didn't I," he
seems to say, "explain it all to you once at dinner? Do you really mean
to say that you've forgotten the way in which I arranged the
salt-cellars and the table-knives, and how I turned the whole case
inside out for your benefit?"

I admit the offence. Examiner seems surprised at my ignorance--informs
me that "it's as easy as A.B.C." It may be--to him and the Baboo.

Baboo, being asked the same question, at once explains the whole matter,
this time without the aid of the salt-cellars and cutlery.

A few days later go to look at result of examination. Result, for me--a
Plough!

Walking away dejectedly--("homeward the Plough-man wends his legal
way"--as GRAY sympathetically put it)--meet African law-student, who
grins insanely. _He_ doesn't sympathise in my defeat. Shows his fine set
of ivories and says:--

"Me failed too. Me go back Gambia. You come back with me!"

Tell him I'm not "called" yet: certainly not called to Gambia.

"Then come to Alhambra!" he suggests, as a sort of alternative to a
visit to the tropics.

African student evidently still a masher. Decline his invitation with
thanks. Wouldn't be seen with him at a theatre for worlds! Depressed.
Don't even look in at Gaiety Bar. No Gaiety for _me_--and no "Bar"
either, it seems.

* * * * *

[Illustration: SOME NEW YEAR'S PROBLEMS.]

* * * * *

THE BUSY (J.) B.

(_Not by Dr. Watts._)

How doth the busy Jerry Builder
Improve his shining hoard,
And gather money, basely earned,
From every opening Board!

How skilfully he scamps his "shells"!
How deftly spreads his sludge!
And labours to defend his sells
By special-pleading fudge!

With what serene, well-practised skill,
He "squares" Surveyors too!
For Jobbery finds some baseness still
For venal hands to do.

Whether for work or healthful play
His buildings will not last.
May he be called some day, some day,
To strict account at last!

* * * * *

PARLIAMENTARY INTELLIGENCE.--According to the announcement in the
_Gazette_, the SPEAKER will take the Chair in the House of Commons on
Tuesday, the 11th of February, when the new Session opens. But, as a
matter of fact, _The Speaker_ will be on the book-stalls on Saturday
next, the 4th of January, entering upon what promises to be a useful and
prolonged Session. Thereafter _The Speaker_