st got the measles. Isn't there any one here
who can help us? [_The three Ladies titter._

_Gushby_ (_in whose breast the leading part played by_ SPINKS _still
rankles_). Why not let SPINKS do it? He's always wanting to "double"
parts, and here's a splendid chance for him.

_Spinks_ (_coldly_). That's _very_ funny--really _very_ funny, GUSHBY.
It's a pity "Colonel DEBENHAM" (_alluding to his own role in the
comedy_) isn't a _clown's_ part. I'd give it up to you right off, if it
was. Ha, ha! (_bitterly_).

_Colonel Clumk_. There's a man in my old regiment who's got two
red-haired brats; but he wants ten shillings a night for 'em.

_Boldero._ That's pretty stiff. However, I'll inspect them to-morrow.
Let's get on a bit now. Come, SPINKS!

_Spinks._ Where were we? (_With an air of intense annoyance._) These
constant interruptions put one off so. Oh, yes, I remember. (_Resumes
rehearsing the part of_ "Colonel DEBENHAM.") "Nursemaid, take those
squalling infants away. I'm surprised at Lady SHORTHORN permitting them
in the drawing-room. Wheel them away at once--at once, I say; or I'll
make curry-powder of the lot of you!"

_Miss Dorothy Shuttle_ (_as_ "BELINDA"). "Well, I'm sure; I never was so
spoken to afore. (_To her imaginary children._) Did the horrid man scold
them, then, pretty dears? (_To_ DEBENHAM.) You a Colonel? You ain't fit
to be a General in the Salvation Army. Imperence!" [_Exit, wheeling
an imaginary perambulator._

_Boldero_ (_enthusiastically_). Excellent! That couldn't have been done
better. When we get the perambulator and the babies, it's bound to go.
(Miss DOROTHY SHUTTLE _is much pleased, and foresees several stalls
being taken on the occasion of her next benefit._) Now, then (_to_
SPINKS, _who thinks it a mistake that a Stage Manager should stop to
praise anybody, with one exception, of course, at rehearsal_), SPINKS,
hurry up a bit, hurry up!

_Spinks._ My dear BOLDERO, I'm perfectly ready to begin as soon as ever
the talking stops. I know my cues, I fancy; but it's quite hopeless to
get on if _everybody_ wants to talk at the same moment. (_Resumes his
part as_ "Colonel DEBENHAM," _shaking his fist at the departing_
BELINDA.) "Impertinent minx! (_Turns furiously on_ GUSHBY, _who is on
the stage in the character of_ TILBURY, _the comic Squire._) And you,
Sir, what in the name of fifty thousand jackasses, do you mean by
standing there grinning from ear to ear like a buck nigger? But I'll not
s