Hexall, and all
the rest of them? (_At the suggestion of the_ Average Man, _they abandon
this fiery debate. A pause._)

_Inquirer._ Who's Speaker now?

_First W. I. M._ Sir ROBERT PEEL.

_Inquirer._ Will he be there to-night?

_First W. I. M._ Of course he will. He's got to be there.

_Inquirer._ But then what does the Chairman of Committee do?

_First W. I. M._ Oh, ah,--um, let me see; the Chairman of Committee
does----(_Brightly._) He's only appointed, you know, when they want a
Committee about something.

_Second W. I. M._ I fancy he has to read the Bills.

_First W. I. M._ (_gathering assurance as he proceeds_). Not when
they're read a first time. Somebody else does that--I forget what they
call him. The Chairman reads 'em a second time, and takes 'em up to the
House of Lords.

_Inquirer._ So he does, of course. I ought to have remembered that. But
I'd got a sort of notion they didn't really read the Bills at all--just
chucked 'em into a bag, and called it a Second Reading.

_First W. I. M._ (_condescendingly_). That's how they used to do it
about ten years ago; but they had to alter the whole thing after they
got BRADLAUGH into the House.

_Inquirer._ Why was that?

_First W. I. M._ Well, he wouldn't take an oath, you know; so, after
that, they altered everything.

_Inquirer_ (_with admiration_). By Jove, what a chap you are for
recollecting things!

[_Terminus._

* * * * *

QUEER QUERIES.

A NEW POLL-TAX.--Would somebody inform me of the easiest way of getting
into Parliament? I see that Members are soon going to be paid, and that
would be very useful to me, as my present yearly expenses are L1,500,
and my income barely L150. Had I better try as a "Labour Candidate"? I
feel that I may claim the title, on account of the labour--twelve hours
at least _per diem_--which I have to expend on getting out of the way of
my creditors. I presume that, before long, there will be Parliaments all
over the place, for England, Wales, and Scotland, as well as for
Ireland, and I want to get into _all_! At least, I want to get into all
where the excellent system of payment of Members is adopted, with
salaries "On the higher scale," as they say in the Courts. It is curious
that, when I explain to my creditors this most promising source of
prospective income, they don't seem to see it! But creditors always were
a purblind race.--WOULD-BE LEGISLATOR.

* * *