t well, and the Goldsmiths too,
In their noble work together;
But was it the very best thing to do,
In that showery, soaking weather;
When drizzle, or downpour, of dogs and cats,
From the "liquid air" made us all drowned rats,
And ruined our clothes and our best top-hats,
And spoilt boots of the stoutest leather?

Professors and Companies, if you would
Invent some sort of appliance
To dry "liquid air," on which we could
Repose implicit reliance,
Arranged to diminish this H_{2}O,
Which, as every schoolboy ought to know,
The Germans call _wasser_, the French call _eau_,
We should bless your chemical science.

* * * * *

CON. FOR CAPITALISTS.

_Q._ Why is it clear the Sparrow is an advocate of Free
Competition?

_A._ Because his everlasting cry is, "Cheep-Cheep!"

* * * * *

"THE GOTHENBURG SYSTEM."--Mrs. R. warmly espouses the
cause of Temperance. She is very strong on what she has
heard is called "The Gotobed System," in Sweden.

* * * * *

PILL-DOCTOR HERDAL.

(_Translated from the Original Norwegian by Mr. Punch._)

SECOND ACT.

DR. HERDAL'S _Drawing-room and Dispensary, as before. It is early in the
day._ Dr. HERDAL _sits by the little table, taking his own temperature
with a clinical thermometer. By the door stands the_ New Book-keeper;
_he wears blue spectacles and a discoloured white tie, and seems
slightly nervous._

_Dr. Herd._ Well, now you understand what is necessary. My late
book-keeper, Miss BLAKDRAF, used to keep my accounts very cleverly--she
charged every visit twice over.

_The New B._ I am familiar with book-keeping by double entry. I was once
employed at a Bank.

_Dr. Herd._ I am discharging my assistant, too; he was always trying to
push me out with his pills. Perhaps you will be able to dispense?

_The New B._ (_modestly_). With an additional salary, I should be able
to do that too.

_Dr. Herd._ Capital! You _shall_ dispense with an additional salary. Go
into the Dispensary, and see what you can make of it. You may mistake a
few drugs at first--but everything must have a beginning.

[_As the_ New B. _retires,_ Mrs. HERDAL _enters in a hat
and cloak with a watering-pot, noiselessly._

_Mrs. Herd._ Miss WANGEL got up early, before breakfast, and went for a
walk. She is so wonderfu