rrence, and
let us endeavor so to conduct ourselves that when we come to die
we can do it. Let us place our hands upon our heart, and say with
earnestness and sincerity that from this day forth we will beware
of the intoxicating bowl.--_First edition of the Californian._

The head editor has been in here raising the mischief, and tearing
his hair and kicking the furniture about, and abusing me like a
pickpocket. He says that every time he leaves me in charge of the
paper for half an hour, I get imposed upon by the first infant or
the first idiot that comes along. And he says that that distressing
item of Mr. Bloke's is nothing but a lot of distressing bosh, and
has no point to it, and no sense in it, and no information in it,
and that there was no sort of necessity for stopping the press to
publish it.

Now all this comes of being good-hearted. If I had been as
unaccommodating and unsympathetic as some people, I would have told
Mr. Bloke that I wouldn't receive his communication at such a late
hour; but no, his snuffling distress touched my heart, and I jumped
at the chance of doing something to modify his misery. I never read
his item to see whether there was anything wrong about it, but
hastily wrote the few lines which preceded it, and sent it to the
printers. And what has my kindness done for me? It has done nothing
but bring down upon me a storm of abuse and ornamental blasphemy.

Now I will read that item myself, and see if there is any
foundation for all this fuss. And if there is, the author of it
shall hear from me.

* * * * *

I have read it, and I am bound to admit that it seems a little
mixed at a first glance. However, I will peruse it once more.

* * * * *

I have read it again, and it does really seem a good deal more
mixed than ever.

* * * * *

I have read it over five times, but if I can get at the meaning of
it, I wish I may get my just deserts. It won't bear analysis. There
are things about it which I cannot understand at all. It don't say
what ever became of William Schuyler. It just says enough about him
to get one interested in his career, and then drops him. Who is
William Schuyler, anyhow, and what part of South Park did he live in,
and if he started down-town at six o'clock, did he ever get there,
and if he did, did anything happen to him? Is _he_ the individual
that met with the "d