te it:

"Turnips should never be pulled, it injures them. It is much
better to send a boy up and let him shake the tree."

"Now, what do you think of that--for I really suppose you wrote
it?"

"Think of it? Why, I think it is good. I think it is sense. I have
no doubt that every year millions and millions of bushels of
turnips are spoiled in this township alone by being pulled in a
half-ripe condition, when, if they had sent a boy up to shake the
tree--"

"Shake your grandmother! Turnips don't grow on trees!"

"Oh, they don't, don't they! Well, who said they did? The language
was intended to be figurative, wholly figurative. Anybody that
knows anything will know that I meant that the boy should shake the
vine."

Then this old person got up and tore his paper all into small
shreds, and stamped on them, and broke several things with his
cane, and said I did not know as much as a cow; and then went out
and banged the door after him, and, in short, acted in such a way
that I fancied he was displeased about something. But not knowing
what the trouble was, I could not be any help to him.

Pretty soon after this a long cadaverous creature, with lanky
locks hanging down to his shoulders, and a week's stubble bristling
from the hills and valleys of his face, darted within the door, and
halted, motionless, with finger on lip, and head and body bent in
listening attitude. No sound was heard. Still he listened. No
sound. Then he turned the key in the door, and came elaborately
tiptoeing towards me till he was within long reaching distance of
me, when he stopped and, after scanning my face with intense
interest for a while, drew a folded copy of our paper from his
bosom, and said:

"There, you wrote that. Read it to me--quick! Relieve me. I
suffer."

[Illustration: "A LONG CADAVEROUS CREATURE"]

I read as follows; and as the sentences fell from my lips I could see
the relief come, I could see the drawn muscles relax, and the anxiety
go out of the face, and rest and peace steal over the features like
the merciful moonlight over a desolate landscape:

"The guano is a fine bird, but great care is necessary in rearing
it. It should not be imported earlier than June or later than
September. In the winter it should be kept in a warm place, where
it can hatch out its young.

"It is evident that we are to have a backward season for grain.
Therefore it will be well for the farmer to begin setting out his