FREE BOOKS

Author's List




PREV.   NEXT  
|<   5   6   7   8   9   10   11   12   13   14   15   16   17   18   19   20   21   22   23   24   25   26   27   28   29  
30   31   32   33   34   35   36   37   38   39   40   41   42   43   44   45   46   47   48   >>  
gain to quench their thirst. BEETHOVEN'S SONATA. An excuse some women use for beating the face off a piano. BIGAMIST. A man that adds one and has two to carry. BLONDE. An abbreviation of peroxide of hydrogen. BREEZE. A condition in the atmosphere which generally arises on a cold day, to make it colder and stays away on a hot day to make it warmer. It is supposed to inhabit the windows, but when you look for it on a Summer night all you can see is the "gent" next door chaperoning the growler. BUNDLE. A load of preserves. From the Norwegian _bun_, meaning high tide. "Yesterday he annexed a _bundle_ and this morning he sits on the front steps singing soft lullabies to a hold-over." (Shakespeare, page 18.) [Illustration: "C--Coogan thinking about home."] Charity begins at home and ruins its health by staying there too much. Children who are wayward grow up to be the people who fall by the wayside. Coogan says there is no place like home--and he congratulates the other places. Consistency is a jewel, but it isn't fashionable to wear it. * * * * * ### C: The third letter of the alphabet. It is also used in music, especially by _prima donnas_ who try to reach it and fall flat. ### * * * * * CAB. A machine invented for the purpose of going somewhere, but which seldom gets there. An inland tugboat. [Illustration] CAD. A shine with an extra polish on. CALAMITY. A loud-mouthed individual who insists upon telling stale jokes. CASH. The stuff we work for, work other people for and are worked for. Synonyms: Bones, Cash, Coin, Dough, Ducats, Long-green, Mazuma, and 1,000 others. CHARITY. Something which begins at home and stays at home every day except Sunday, when it goes to church to talk about itself. CINCH. When a man starts out with a bundle of money and a bundle of booze it's a cinch that he drops the money first. COLD FEET. A punishment for those that stand around and wait for dead men's shoes. COMPLIMENTS. Things which some people fish for hard enough to catch a sea-serpent. CONFIDENCE MAN. The noblest work of fraud. CONCLUSION. Something a woman jumps at in the same manner in which she jumps off a street car--which is backwards. CONSCIENCE. The alarm clock on a man's mind which is seldom wound up. CONSISTENCY. A jewel which isn't appreciated as a Christmas present. CONTENTMENT. A large,
PREV.   NEXT  
|<   5   6   7   8   9   10   11   12   13   14   15   16   17   18   19   20   21   22   23   24   25   26   27   28   29  
30   31   32   33   34   35   36   37   38   39   40   41   42   43   44   45   46   47   48   >>  



Top keywords:

bundle

 

people

 

Coogan

 
seldom
 
begins
 

Illustration

 

Something

 
Mazuma
 

purpose

 

machine


Synonyms

 

Ducats

 

invented

 
individual
 

insists

 

mouthed

 

polish

 
CALAMITY
 

tugboat

 
inland

telling

 
worked
 

CONCLUSION

 

manner

 
noblest
 

serpent

 

CONFIDENCE

 

street

 

appreciated

 

Christmas


present

 

CONTENTMENT

 

CONSISTENCY

 

CONSCIENCE

 
backwards
 

starts

 
church
 
CHARITY
 
Sunday
 

Things


COMPLIMENTS

 

punishment

 

inhabit

 
supposed
 

windows

 

Summer

 

warmer

 
arises
 

generally

 
colder