ald
spots where it is missing.

If you don't believe me come home from Europe some day by way of the
Custom House.

[Illustration: "D--Sometimes an old fool gets away with a good thing."]

Do you know that a wise man can sometimes be a fool and get away with it?

Don't go among doers if you don't want to be did.

Duty calls and finds most men holding nothing but a four-flush.

Don't try to be a stinger if you don't want to get stung.

* * * * *

###
D: The letter of the alphabet which always runs fourth.
###

* * * * *

DAISY. A twin sister to a peach. See _Dream_.

DAM. A species of floodgates. By adding the letter "n" the floodgates
are loosened.

DAMSEL. See Daisy.

DARLING. See your best girl.

DAFFY. See a doctor.

[Illustration]

DAWN. The cold, gray period immediately following a red-hot night.

DELUDE. To take your wife by the hand and lead her away from the truth.

[Illustration]

DELUSION. Something which every man likes to hug--especially if she's
pretty.

DESTINY. Something which laughs at those who never say die.

DESCRIBE. To give an account of. For instance, one woman giving a
description of another woman's wearing apparel--oh, fudge!

DOGS OF WAR. Animals that live on bones of contention.

DRUNKARDS. The monuments which whiskey erects all along the road to
ruin.

DUST. The material from which man is made and that is the reason why
woman sweeps all before her.

[Illustration: "E--And when she marries her fourth husband its a great
deal."]

Everybody knows that money talks, but nobody notices what kind of
grammar it uses.

Evil be to him who evil drinketh.

Every woman loves an ideal man until she marries him--then it's a new
deal.

Every time you stop and stare at Success it gets up and leaves the room.

* * * * *

###
E: The fifth letter of the alphabet which is usually silent at the end
of a word--quite unlike some women _you_ know of, eh!
###

* * * * *

EAR. A place which hears a great many things which should never have
been said.

[Illustration]

EARTH. An orange-shaped ball hanging in space and inhabited by two
classes of people, to wit: kickers and more kickers.

EDEN. The garden where Adam and Eve baked the first apple pie and pied
the human race.

ECSTASY. A state in which the mind is carried away. For