A song or sonnet;

DA VINCI might have made a sketch,
Or REMBRANDT drawn a head to etch,
Or TURNER dashed some tints--'twould fetch
A thousand guineas.
Here might have been some notes, compiled
By IBSEN, MAETERLINCK, or WILDE,
On how some writers have beguiled
Some simple ninnies;

Some words on Cooks, by RANDOLPH C.,
Or Greek Home Rule, by Grand Old G.,
Some Irish notes by A.J.B.,
A cheque from DILLON.
How useless now to think what might
Have been, for I have blacked the white!
It is not even fit to write
A washing-bill on!

* * * * *

CHURCH AND BOOTH.--The Archbishop of CANTERBURY was recently a guest
at the Munching House on the occasion of an Undenominational Banquet.
His Grace, in a post-prandial speech, observed that the Salvation
Army came "fluting" among us, but he thought that the Army's success
would be as "fleeting" as it was "fluting." Neat this for his
Grace-after-dinner. This was a nice after-dinner way of giving
"_caviare_ to the General." No "laughter" appears to have followed,
so the _caviare_ was not generally taken.

* * * * *

LITERARY NOTE AND QUERY.--First volume of _Tacitus_ translated into
English by A.W. QUILL. Judging from a review in the _Times_ of this
instalment, it is the work of neither a soft nor hard Quill, but
a medium Quill. With such a suggestive name, this author will show
himself a Goose Quill if he does not at once turn his attention to
the History of PENN.

* * * * *

LADY GAY'S SELECTIONS.

[Illustration: (Lady Gay.)]

_The Bobolink, Henley._

DEAR MR. PUNCH,

The Election at Sheepsdoor being regarded as a "moral" for our
Candidate--(what a delightful change from the _im-moral_ way in which
elections _used_ to be conducted!)--I felt it was safe for me to
wing my flight to fresh scenes and pastures new!--not that I wanted
any "new pastures," having been a _grass_-widow for some time;--but
having had enough of the "rolling billow"--(by the way, the rolling
"_Billow_" at Stockbridge didn't roll fast enough)--I yearned for the
silvery smoothness of Father Thames, so started for Henley with my
faithful _Eulalie_--(I really must change her name, it sounds like
a Swiss joedel); but, oh! my goodness!--talk about _billows_--the
Channel passage is a fool to what we found at Henley! Waves mountain
high!-