p accordingly.
Did the Clown whimper, and cry, "Oh, please, Sir, it wasn't me, Sir; it was
t'other boy, Sir!" and did the good King prepare to meet his fate like a
man? and was he ready to put his head cheerfully on the wig-block and
declare with his latest breath (up to 12.55 P.M.) that in his closing hours
he died for the benefit of the Public? We know not--except that both
delinquents were let off--like squibs--and Mine Host, the Boniface, had to
pay all the fines. He at all events had a Fine old time of it! _Sic
transit_! So fitly ends the long run of a good Pantomime. _Finis coronat
opus_!

* * * * *

The Volunteer Review at Dover.

_General Idea of Officers in Command._--To make as few mistakes as possible
in handling some thousands of imperfectly-drilled and entirely
undisciplined bodies of men.

_The same of the Rank and File._--To spend an annual holiday in marching
and counter-marching, and then, after thirty miles of moving over a heavy
country, to return to London dead beat.

* * * * *

EFFECTIVELY SETTLING IT.--A "par" in the _Daily Telegraph_ last Friday
informed us that "The Bishop of EXETER administered, yesterday, the rite of
confirmation to thirty-eight patients of the Western Counties' Idiot Asylum
at Starcross. This is the first time such a rite has been conferred upon
inmates of this institution." Very hard on these inmates, as, previous to
the ceremony there might have been some hope of their recovery; but now
they have become "confirmed idiots."

* * * * *

ODE TO A GIRAFFE.

(_On hearing that the Solitary Specimen at the Zoo had just died._)

[Illustration]

So Death has paid the Zoo a call,
And claimed you for his own,
Who "neck or nothing" had been left
To bloom--and die--alone.
From far I gazed into your face,
I did not know your name,
You looked uncomfortable, but
I loved you all the same.

Your neck _was_ just a trifle long,
I think you must confess.
I've often thought if, as a fact,
You could have done with less.
But we must take you all in all,
And so I hear with pain
That probably we shall not look
Upon your like again.

I could have spared a buffalo
Or elephant with ease,
An armadillo, or a bear,
A dozen chimpanzees.
When _Jumbo_ left for foreign skies,
I did not shed a tear,
For though his _Alice_ mou