ght add, though "it was
nothing, a mere nothing," that the performance of his three young men--Mr.
C.M. LOWNE, as the sensible lover; Mr. SEYMOUR HICKS, as the young medical
student; and Mr. CECIL RAMSEY, as "W.G.," a youthful athlete, was
admirable. They were all in _Walker, London_. In reply to Mr. T.H. BOLTON,
who wished to know _if the Witness considered his Theatre a substantial
edifice_, Mr. TOOLE said that he certainly did, because, you see, the
Theatre would never go to pieces as long as the pieces went to the Theatre,
and as long as it was supported by the public. _Have I any complaint_?
Nothing to speak of, except a touch of gout. Oh, beg pardon, you meant
_complaint as to the Theatre_? Oh, no, except it's not large enough to hold
the millions who can't be crammed in nightly. Has an excellent Acting
Manager in Mr. GEORGE LEE, and as to friend BILLINGTON'S stage-management
of the House Boat (the scene, he might say, was painted by Mr. HARKER, a
name not unknown at the Mansion House), it is the best thing of the sort
ever done. Any evening that Mr. PLUNKET, Mr. WOODALL, or Mr. BOLTON, or any
other of the Honourable Gentlemen would like to look in and see _Walker,
London_, they have only to send to the Box Office, or any of the Libraries,
and book in advance--he couldn't say fairer than that--because it was
advice that he always gave to "Friend IRVING," and which he had adopted. No
more? Hope he doesn't intrude. Would the Committee excuse his glove? Yes?
Then, remember, _Walker, London_.

Mr. J.L. TOOLE then hurried out. After his departure it was found that all
the spectators had on their backs adhesive labels advertising _Walker,
London_.

* * * * *

[Illustration: A WARNING.

_Archie_ (_to his Sister, who has been reading him Fairy Tales_). "WON'T
THERE BE A LOT OF _US_, IF NONE OF US GO AND GET MARRIED? WORSE THAN _HOP
O'MY THUMB_!"

_Sister._ "YES; BUT YOU KNOW _I_ MEAN TO BE MARRIED!"

_Archie._ "DO YOU MEAN TO SAY YOU'D GO AND LIVE ALONE WITH A MAN AFTER
READING _BLUEBEARD_?"]

* * * * *

A WAITING GAME.

WARY WILLIAM, _loquitur_:--

_Drat that dog_!
Dogs are mixed,--like men.
Few know how to _jog_;
Hasty tongue and pen,
Many a bungler bog,
Steady! _I_'ll say when!

Lots of dogs I've bred.
Most want whip, a deal.
This one, be it said,
Is more hot than leal;
Wants to go ahead,
Hates to come