ondemned to lead a single life,
For the sergeant, who was struck with me, already had a wife;
And Jim is tied to Rosie, and can't get himself untied,
Whilst the man that I was faithful to has been and gone and died!

_H. M. Paull._

MY AUNT'S SPECTRE

They tell me (but I really can't
Imagine such a rum thing),
|It| is the phantom of my Aunt,
Who ran away--or something.

|It| is the very worst of bores:
(My Aunt was most delightful).
|It| prowls about the corridors,
And utters noises frightful.

At midnight through the rooms |It| glides,
Behaving very coolly,
Our hearts all throb against our sides--
The lights are burning bluely.

The lady, in her living hours,
Was the most charming vixen
That ever this poor sex of ours
Delighted to play tricks on.

Yes, that's her portrait on the wall,
In quaint old-fangled bodice:
Her eyes are blue--her waist is small--
A ghost! Pooh, pooh,--a goddess!
A fine patrician shape, to suit
My dear old father's sister--
Lips softly curved, a dainty foot:
Happy the man that kissed her!

Light hair of crisp irregular curl
Over fair shoulders scattered--
Egad, she was a pretty girl,
Unless Sir Thomas flattered!

And who the deuce, in these bright days,
Could possibly expect her
To take to dissipated ways,
And plague us as a spectre?

_Mortimer Collins._

CASEY AT THE BAT

It looked extremely rocky for the Mudville nine that day,
The score stood four to six with but an inning left to play.
And so, when Cooney died at first, and Burrows did the same,
A pallor wreathed the features of the patrons of the game.
A straggling few got up to go, leaving there the rest,
With that hope which springs eternal within the human breast.
For they thought if only Casey could get a whack at that,
They'd put up even money with Casey at the bat.
But Flynn preceded Casey, and likewise so did Blake,
And the former was a pudding and the latter was a fake;
So on that stricken multitude a death-like silence sat,
For there seemed but little chance of Casey's getting to the bat.
But Flynn let drive a single to the wonderment of all,
And the much despised Blakey tore the cover off the ball,
And when the dust had lifted and they saw what had occurred,
There was Blakey safe on second, and Flynn a-hugging third.
Then from the gladdened multitude went up a joyous yell