avagances, limited
in the indulgence of even legitimate desires, in order that he may not
defraud another, or menace the general well-being.

Not only in social life, but in business, politics, and international
relations, this principle of the common good as the ultimate goal, the
supreme authority for conduct, holds good. To it society approaches,
now by direct progress and now by seeming reaction, but ever with a
higher evaluation of justice. This is shown in the fulfillment of both
small and large obligations.

Following the rules of courtesy, men give to each other that deference
which each believes is his own due, and each receives in return
twofold the deference that he sincerely gives. Men show, at home and
abroad, the courtesy to women in general that they would wish shown to
those of their family, and thereby the standard of respect for woman
is so lifted that even the city street at night is a safe place for a
woman to pass unaccosted, if it is necessary for her to go unattended.

Rigidly do we hold ourselves to the established rules of good
breeding, endeavoring to make of ourselves all that Nature will
permit; and we are surprised to find that Nature's own gentlemen and
gentlewomen gather about us, and rare souls look to us for
companionship, as finding in us kindred spirits.

No field so surely bears a like harvest as the one sown with the seeds
of good-will and consideration for others.

Etiquette tells us how to accomplish what we desire,--to make clear
the path to the goal of high companionship with many worthy
minds,--and enables us to get out of social intercourse the honey that
is hidden there. Without it, as social beings, we should be as
workmen without tools, architects without material, musicians without
instruments.

After all, however, etiquette is only a tool, and should never be
mistaken for the finished work itself. How you carry yourself at a
reception is not a matter of so great moment, as is the fact that you
went, and there exchanged certain worth-while thoughts with certain
people. It is the people, the thoughts they gave you and you gave
them, and the practical influence on your life of those people and
those thoughts, which are of moment.

Just as, from a musicale, you must carry the music away in your soul,
either in definite memories or in a refreshed and more joyous frame of
mind, or it is of no avail that you attended, so from social
intercourse it is absolutely necessary