onnubial happiness, and of whose arrangements (better
than in richer houses) she was so proud. They are treading fast and
thick. For weeks you could have heard a foot-fall. Oh, my God!

_May 21._--Our sad preparations for to-morrow continue. A letter from
Lockhart; doubtful if Sophia's health or his own state of business
will let him be here. If things permit he comes tonight. From Charles
not a word; but I think I may expect him. I wish to-morrow were over;
not that I fear it, for my nerves are pretty good, but it will be a
day of many recollections.

_May 22._--Charles arrived last night, much affected of course. Anne
had a return of her fainting-fits on seeing him, and again upon seeing
Mr. Ramsay, the gentleman who performs the service. I heard him do so
with the utmost propriety for my late friend, Lady Alvanley, the
arrangement of whose funeral devolved upon me. How little I could
guess when, where, and with respect to whom I should next hear those
solemn words. Well, I am not apt to shrink from that which is my duty,
merely because it is painful; but I wish this day over. A kind of
cloud of stupidity hangs about me, as if all were unreal that men seem
to be doing and talking about.

_May 23._--About an hour before the mournful ceremony of yesterday,
Walter arrived, having traveled express from Ireland on receiving the
news. He was much affected, poor fellow, and no wonder. Poor Charlotte
nursed him, and perhaps for that reason she was ever partial to him.
The whole scene floats as a sort of dream before me--the beautiful
day, the gray ruins covered and hidden among clouds of foliage and
flourish, where the grave, even in the lap of beauty, lay lurking and
gaped for its prey. Then the grave looks, the hasty important bustle
of men with spades and mattocks--the train of carriages--the coffin
containing the creature that was so long the dearest on earth to me,
and whom I was to consign to the very spot which in pleasure-parties
we so frequently visited. It seems still as if this could not be
really so. But it is so--and duty to God and to my children must teach
me patience.

_May 24._--Slept wretchedly, or rather waked wretchedly, all night,
and was very sick and bilious in consequence, and scarce able to hold
up my head with pain. A walk, however, with my sons did me a great
deal of good; indeed their society is the greatest support the world
can afford me. Their ideas of everything are so just and honorable,