rue soldier way." "I am just come
from Sir James," he wrote to Hamilton on the 13th of October. "He sees
all the difficulty of taking Malta in the clearest point of views, and
therefore it became an arduous task to make him think that with God's
blessing the thing was possible." He has, however, consented to
prepare fifteen hundred men with stores and equipments, but only on
condition that the Russians will also give a thousand,--a further
draft on Nelson's diplomacy,--and a thousand be landed from the
squadron, etc. Besides, there is the further difficulty that a
superior officer is expected from England, and what will he say? And
will Erskine be justified in sending men before his entirely uncertain
arrival? It may be imagined what such proceedings were to Nelson's
nervous, ardent, unhesitating temperament, and they elicited the
characteristic comment, "This has been my first conference. It has
cost me four hours hard labour, and may be upset by a fool." "My heart
is, I assure you, almost broke with this and other things," he wrote
to Spencer. "If the enemy gets supplies in, we may bid adieu to Malta.
This would complete my misery; for I am afraid I take all services too
much to heart. The accomplishing of them is my study, night and day."

"My dear Sir James," he writes to Erskine after returning to Palermo,
"I am in desperation about Malta--we shall lose it, I am afraid, past
redemption. I send you copies of Niza's and Ball's letters, also
General Acton's, so you will see I have not been idle." As it is, Ball
can hardly keep the inhabitants in hope of relief; what then will it
be if the Portuguese withdraw? "If the islanders are forced again to
join the French, we may not find even landing a very easy task, much
less to get again our present advantageous position. I therefore
entreat for the honour of our King, that whether General Fox is
arrived or not, at least the garrison of Messina may be ordered to
hold post in Malta until a sufficient force can be collected to
attack it.... I know well enough of what officers in your situation
can do; the delicacy of your feelings on the near approach of General
Fox I can readily conceive; but the time you know nothing about; this
is a great and important moment, and the only thing to be considered,
_is his Majesty's service to stand still for an instant?_ ... Was the
call for these troops known at home, would they not order them to
proceed when the service near at hand loudl