et more."[18] In battle, like a great
actor in a great drama, he knew himself the master of an invisible
concourse, whose homage he commanded, whose plaudits he craved, and
whom, by the sight of deeds raised above the common ground of earth,
he drew to sympathy with heroism and self-devotion. There, too, he
rejoiced in the noblest exercise of power, in the sensation of
energies and faculties roused to full exertion, contending with mighty
obstacles, and acting amid surroundings worthy of their grandeur; like
Massena, of whom it was said that he only found his greatest self
when the balls flew thick about him, and things began to look their
worst.

After his return from Fonthill Lady Nelson and himself lived together
again for a time in their London lodgings, in Arlington Street, and
there, according to the story told forty-five years afterwards by Mr.
William Haslewood, Nelson's solicitor, the crisis of their troubles
was reached. "In the winter of 1800, 1801, I was breakfasting with
Lord and Lady Nelson, at their lodgings in Arlington Street, and a
cheerful conversation was passing on indifferent subjects, when Lord
Nelson spoke of something which had been done or said by 'dear Lady
Hamilton;' upon which Lady Nelson rose from her chair, and exclaimed,
with much vehemence, 'I am sick of hearing of dear Lady Hamilton, and
am resolved that you shall give up either her or me.' Lord Nelson,
with perfect calmness, said: 'Take care, Fanny, what you say. I love
you sincerely; but I cannot forget my obligations to Lady Hamilton, or
speak of her otherwise than with affection and admiration.' Without
one soothing word or gesture, but muttering something about her mind
being made up, Lady Nelson left the room, and shortly after drove from
the house. They never lived together afterwards." Though committed to
paper so many years later, the incident is just one of those that
sticks to the memory, and probably occurred substantially as told.
Lady Nelson's ultimatum will probably be differently regarded by
different persons; it shows that she was at least living human flesh
and blood. In later life, we are told by Hotham, who was in the habit
of frequently seeing her, up to her death, in 1831, "she continually
talked of him, and always attempted to palliate his conduct towards
her, was warm and enthusiastic in her praises of his public
achievements, and bowed down with dignified submission to the errors
of his domestic life."

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