there, and we go in to-morrow. He frighted me cruelly a while ago; he
would have Lady Shelburne's house, one of the finest in London; he
would buy, he would build, he would give twenty to thirty guineas a
week for a house. Oh Lord, thought I, the people will sure enough
throw stones at me now when they see a dying man go to such mad
expenses, and all, as they will naturally think, to please a wife
wild with the love of expense. This was the very thing I endeavoured
to avoid by canvassing the borough for him, in hopes of being through
that means tyed to the brewhouse where I always hated to live till
now, that I conclude his constitution lost, and that the world will
say _I_ tempt him in his weak state of body and mind to take a fine
house for me at the flashy end of the town." "He however, dear
creature, is as absolute, ay, and ten times more so, than ever, since
he suspects his head to be suspected, and to Grosvenor Square we are
going, and I cannot be sorry, for it will doubtless be comfortable
enough to see one's friends commodiously, and I have long wished to
quit _Harrow Corner_, to be sure; how could one help it? though I did

"'Call round my casks each object of desire'

all last winter: but it was a heavy drag too, and what signifies
resolving _never_ to be pleased? I will make myself comfortable in my
new habitation, and be thankful to God and my husband."

On February 7, 1781, she writes to Madame D'Arblay:

"Yesterday I had a conversazione. Mrs. Montagu was brilliant in
diamonds, solid in judgment, critical in talk. Sophy smiled, Piozzi
sung, Pepys panted with admiration, Johnson was good humoured, Lord
John Clinton attentive, Dr. Bowdler lame, and my master not asleep.
Mrs. Ord looked elegant, Lady Rothes dainty, Mrs. Davenant dapper,
and Sir Philip's curls were all blown about by the wind. Mrs. Byron
rejoices that her Admiral and I agree so well; the way to his heart
is connoisseurship it seems, and for a background and contorno, who
comes up to Mrs. Thrale, you know."

In "Thraliana":

"_Sunday, March 18th_, 1781.--Well! Now I have experienced the
delights of a London winter, spent in the bosom of flattery, gayety,
and Grosvenor Square; 'tis a poor thing, however, and leaves a void
in the mind, but I have had my compting-house duties to attend, my
sick master to watch, my little children to look after, and how much
good have I done in any way? Not a scrap as I can see; the pecuniary
affairs have