t, persons assumed, and who appear what they really are
not, are hereby invited to that solemnity.

The body shall be carried by six watchmen, who are never seen in the
day.

Item, The pall shall be held up by the six most known pretenders to
honesty, wealth and power, who are not possessed of any of them. The
two first, an half-lawyer, a complete justice. The two next, a chemist,
a projector. The third couple, a Treasury solicitor, and a small
courtier.

To make my funeral (what that solemnity, when done to common men, really
is in itself) a very farce; and since all mourners are mere actors on
these occasions, I shall desire those who are professedly such, to
attend me. I humbly therefore beseech Mrs. Barry[135] to act once more,
and be my widow. When she swoons away at the church-porch, I appoint the
merry Sir John Falstaff, and the gay Sir Harry Wildair, to support her.
I desire Mr. Pinkethman[136] to follow in the habit of a cardinal, and
Mr. Bullock[137] in that of a privy councillor. To make up the rest of
the appearance, I desire all the ladies from the balconies to weep with
Mrs. Barry, as they hope to be wives and widows themselves. I invite
all, who have nothing else to do, to accept of gloves and scarves.

Thus, with the great Charles V. of Spain, I resign the glories of this
transitory world: yet, at the same time, to show you my indifference,
and that my desires are not too much fixed upon anything, I own to you,
I am as willing to stay as go: therefore leave it in the choice of my
gentle readers, whether I shall hear from them, or they hear no more
from me.

White's Chocolate-house, April 25.

Easter Day being a time when you can't well meet with any but humble
adventures; and there being such a thing as low gallantry, as well as a
low comedy, Colonel Ramble[138] and myself went early this morning into
the fields, which were strewed with shepherds and shepherdesses, but
indeed of a different turn from the simplicity of those of Arcadia.
Every hedge was conscious of more than what the representations of
enamoured swains admit of. While we were surveying the crowd around us,
we saw at a distance a company coming towards Pancras Church; but though
there was not much disorder, we thought we saw the figure of a man stuck
through with a sword, and at every step ready to fall, if a woman by his
side had not supported him; the rest followed two and two. When we came
nearer this appearance, who should it