will and testament; which I do in manner
and form following:

Imprimis, I give to the stockjobbers about the Exchange of London, as a
security for the trusts daily reposed in them, all my real estate; which
I do hereby vest in the said body of worthy citizens for ever.

Item, Forasmuch as it is very hard to keep land in repair without ready
cash, I do, out of my personal estate, bestow the bearskin,[132] which I
have frequently lent to several societies about this town, to supply
their necessities. I say, I give also the said bearskin, as an immediate
fund to the said citizens for ever.

Item, I do hereby appoint a certain number of the said citizens to take
all the custom-house or customary oaths, concerning all goods imported
to the whole city, strictly directing, that some select members, and not
the whole number of a body corporate, should be perjured.

Item, I forbid all n----s and persons of q----ty to watch bargains near
and about the Exchange, to the diminution and wrong of the said
stockjobbers.

Thus far, in as brief and intelligible a manner as any will can appear,
till it is explained by the learned, I have disposed of my real and
personal estate: but, as I am an adept, I have by birth an equal right
to give also an indefeasible title to my endowments and qualifications;
which I do in the following manner:

Item, I give my chastity to all virgins who have withstood their
market.

Item, I give my courage among all who are ashamed of their distressed
friends, all sneakers in assemblies, and men who show valour in common
conversation.

Item, I give my wit (as rich men give to the rich) among such as think
they have enough already. And in case they shall not accept of the
legacy, I give it to Bentivolio,[133] to defend his works from time to
time, as he shall think fit to publish them.

Item, I bestow my learning upon the honorary members of the Royal
Society.[134]

Now for the disposal of this body.

As these eyes must one day cease to gaze on Teraminta, and this heart
shall one day pant no more for her indignation: that is to say, since
this body must be earth, I shall commit it to the dust in a manner
suitable to my character. Therefore, as there are those who dispute,
whether there is any such real person as Isaac Bickerstaff or not, I
shall excuse all persons who appear what they really are, from coming to
my funeral. But all those who are, in their way of life, persons, as the
Latins have i