page and liveries
outshine anybody's in town. He has presented her with L3,000 in jewels;
and never was man more smitten with these charms that had lain invisible
for these forty years; but, with all his glory, never bride had fewer
enviers, the dear beast of a man is so filthy, frightful, odious, and
detestable. I would turn away such a footman, for fear of spoiling my
dinner, while he waited at table. They were married on Friday, and came
to church _en parade_ on Sunday. I happened to sit in the pew with them,
and had the honour of seeing Mrs. Bride fall fast asleep in the middle
of the sermon, and snore very comfortably; which made several women in
the church think the bridegroom not quite so ugly as they did before.
Envious people say 'twas all counterfeited to please him, but I believe
that to be scandal; for I dare swear, nothing but downright necessity
could make her miss one word of the sermon. He professes to have married
her for her devotion, patience, meekness, and other Christian virtues he
observed in her; his first wife (who has left no children) being very
handsome, and so good natured as to have ventured her own salvation to
secure his. He has married this lady to have a companion in that
paradise where his first has given him a title. I believe I have given
you too much of this couple; but they are not to be comprehended in few
words."

Here is another malicious story that appealed to Lady Mary's wayward
fancy,

"Mrs. Braithwayte, a Yorkshire beauty," she wrote to the same
correspondent in March, 1712, "who had been but two days married to a
Mr. Coleman, ran out of bed _en chemise_, and her husband followed her
in his, in which pleasant dress they ran as far as St. James's Street,
where they met with a chair, and prudently crammed themselves both into
it, observing the rule of dividing the good and bad fortune of this
life, resolved to run all hazards together, and ordered the chairmen to
carry them both away, perfectly representing, both in love and
nakedness, and want of eyes to see that they were naked, our first happy
parents. Sunday last I had the pleasure of hearing the whole history
from the lady's own mouth."

Love-affairs, other people's love-affairs anyhow, had an attraction for
Lady Mary. "You talk of the Duke of Leeds," she wrote. "I hear that he
has placed his heroic love upon the bright charms of a pewterer's wife;
and, after a long amour, and many perilous adventures, has stolen