ot got, of
suggesting things to the legislators in my individual capacity, I would
so enjoy the opportunity that I would not charge anything for it at all.
I would do that without a salary. I would give them the benefit of my
wisdom and experience in legislative bodies, and if I could have had the
privilege for a few minutes of giving advice to the other House I should
have liked to, but of course I could not undertake it, as they did not
ask me to do it--but if they had only asked me!

Now that the House is considering a measure which is to furnish a
water-supply to the city of New York, why, permit me to say I live
in New York myself. I know all about its ways, its desires, and its
residents, and--if I had the privilege--I should have urged them not to
weary themselves over a measure like that to furnish water to the city
of New York, for we never drink it.

But I will not venture to advise this body, as I only venture to advise
bodies who are, not present.

MISTAKEN IDENTITY

ADDRESS AT THE ANNUAL "LADIES' DAY," PAPYRUS CLUB, BOSTON

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,--I am perfectly
astonished--a-s-t-o-n-i-s-h-e-d--ladies and gentlemen--astonished at
the way history repeats itself. I find myself situated at this moment
exactly and precisely as I was once before, years ago, to a jot, to a
tittle--to a very hair. There isn't a shade of difference. It is the
most astonishing coincidence that ever--but wait. I will tell you the
former instance, and then you will see it for yourself. Years ago I
arrived one day at Salamanca, New York, eastward bound; must change cars
there and take the sleeper train. There were crowds of people there, and
they were swarming into the long sleeper train and packing it full, and
it was a perfect purgatory of dust and confusion and gritting of
teeth and soft, sweet, and low profanity. I asked the young man in the
ticket-office if I could have a sleeping-section, and he answered "No,"
with a snarl that shrivelled me up like burned leather. I went off,
smarting under this insult to my dignity, and asked another local
official, supplicatingly, if I couldn't have some poor little corner
somewhere in a sleeping-car; but he cut me short with a venomous "No,
you can't; every corner is full. Now, don't bother me any more"; and
he turned his back and walked off. My dignity was in a state now
which cannot be described. I was so ruffled that--"well," I said to my
companion, "If these people knew who