ype
of
perfect womanhood! Great Heavens, what would she say if
the
Second Housemaid business happened to meet her pure blue
eye! (Enter Lady Sophy)

Lady S.: My monarch is soliloquizing. I will withdraw. (going)

King: No--pray don't go. Now I'll give you fifty chances, and
you
won't guess whom I was thinking of.

Lady S.: Alas, sir, I know too well. Ah! King, it's an old, old
story, and I'm wellnigh weary of it! Be warned in
time--from my heart I pity you, but I am not for you!
(going)

King: But hear what I have to say.

Lady S.: It is useless. Listen. In the course of a long and
adven-
turous career in the principal European Courts, it has
been
revealed to me that I unconsciously exercise a weird and
supernatural fascination over all Crowned Heads. So
irre-
sistible is this singular property, that there is not a
European Monarch who has not implored me, with tears in
his
eyes, to quit his kingdom, and take my fatal charms else-
where. As time was getting on it occurred to me that by
descending several pegs in the scale of Respectability I
might qualify your Majesty for my hand. Actuated by this
humane motive and happening to possess Respectability
enough
for Six, I consented to confer Respectability enough for
Four upon your two younger daughters--but although I
have,
alas, only Respectability enough for Two left, there is
still, as I gather from the public press of this country
(producing the Palace Peeper), a considerable balance in
my
favor.

King: (aside) Damn! (aloud) May I ask how you came by this?

Lady S.: It was handed to me by the officer who holds the position
of
Public Exploder to your Imperial Majesty.

King: And surely, Lady Sophy, surely you are not so unjust as
to
place any faith in the irresponsible gabble of the
Society
press!

Lady S.: (referring to paper) I read on the authority of Senex
Senior that your Majesty was seen dancing with your
Second
Housemaid on the Oriental Platform of the Tivoli Gardens.
That is untrue?

King: Absolutely. Our Se