owing to
Those hated Flowers of Progress!

So down with them!
So down with them!
Reform's a hated ogress.
So down with them!
So down with them!
Down with the Flowers of Progress!

(Flourish. Enter King, his three daughters, Lady Sophy, and the
Flowers
of Progress.)

King: What means this most unmannerly irruption?
Is this your gratitude for boons conferred?

Scaphio: Boons? Bah! A fico for such boons, say we!
These boons have brought Utopia to a standstill!
Our pride and boast--the Army and the Navy--
Have both been reconstructed and remodeled
Upon so irresistible a basis
That all the neighboring nations have disarmed--
And War's impossible! Your County Councillor
Has passed such drastic Sanitary laws
That all doctors dwindle, starve, and die!
The laws, remodeled by Sir Bailey Barre,
Have quite extinguished crime and litigation:
The lawyers starve, and all the jails are let
As model lodgings for the working-classes!
In short--Utopia, swamped by dull Prosperity,
Demands that these detested Flowers of Progress
Be sent about their business, and affairs
Restored to their original complexion!

King: (to Zara) My daughter, this is a very unpleasant state
of
things. What is to be done?

Zara: I don't know--I don't understand it. We must have
omitted
something.

King: Omitted something? Yes, that's all very well, but---
(Sir
Bailey Barre whispers to Zara.)

Zara: (suddenly) Of course! Now I remember! Why, I had
forgot-
ten the most essential element of all!

King: And that is?---

Zara: Government by Party! Introduce that great and glorious
element--at once the bulwark and foundation of England's
greatness--and all will be well! No political measures
will
endure, because one Party will assuredly undo all that
the
other Party has done; and while grouse is to be shot, and
foxes worried to death, the legislative action of the
coun-