It's so horribly personal!

Scaphio: Personal? Yes, of course it's personal--but consider the
antithetical humor of the situation.

King: Yes. I--I don't think I've quite grasped that.

Scaphio: No? You surprise me. Why, consider. During the day
thou-
sands tremble at your frown, during the night (from 8 to
11)
thousands roar at it. During the day your most arbitrary
pronouncements are received by your subjects with abject
submission--during the night, they shout with joy at your
most terrible decrees. It's not every monarch who enjoys
the privilege of undoing by night all the despotic
absurdi-
ties he's committed during the day.

King: Of course! Now I see it! Thank you very much. I was
sure
it had its humorous side, and it was very dull of me not
to
have seen it before. But, as I said just now, it's a
quaint
world.

Phantis: Teems with quiet fun.

King: Yes. Properly considered, what a farce life is, to be
sure!

SONG -- King.

First you're born--and I'll be bound you
Find a dozen strangers round you.
"Hallo," cries the new-born baby,
"Where's my parents? which may they be?"
Awkward silence--no reply--
Puzzled baby wonders why!
Father rises, bows politely--
Mother smiles (but not too brightly)--
Doctor mumbles like a dumb thing--
Nurse is busy mixing something.--
Every symptom tends to show
You're decidedly de trop--

All: Ho! ho! ho! ho! ho! ho! ho! ho!
Time's teetotum,
If you spin it,
Gives it quotum
Once a minute.
I'll go bail
You hit the nail,
And if you fail,
The deuce is in it!

King: You grow up and you discover
What it is to be a lover.
Some young lady is selected--
Poor, perhaps, but well-connected.
Whom you hail (for Love is blind)
As the Queen of fairy kind.
Though she's plain--