to wear
But cloth of gold and satins rare,
For cloth of gold you cease to care--
Up goes the price of shoddy.

MAR. and GIU. Of shoddy, up goes the price of shoddy.

DON AL. In short, whoever you may be,
To this conclusion you'll agree,
When every one is somebodee,
Then no one's anybody!

MAR. and GIU. Now that's as plain as plain can be,
To this conclusion we agree--

ALL. When every one is somebodee,
Then no one's anybody!

(Gianetta and Tessa enter unobserved. The two girls, impelled by
curiosity, remain listening at the back of the stage.)

DON AL. And now I have some important news to communicate.
His Grace the Duke of Plaza-Toro, Her Grace the Duchess, and
their beautiful daughter Casilda--I say their beautiful daughter
Casilda--
GIU. We heard you.
DON AL. Have arrived at Barataria, and may be here at any
moment.
MAR. The Duke and Duchess are nothing to us.
DON AL. But the daughter--the beautiful daughter! Aha!
Oh, you're a lucky dog, one of you!
GIU. I think you're a very incomprehensible old gentleman.
DON AL. Not a bit--I'll explain. Many years ago when you
(whichever you are) were a baby, you (whichever you are) were
married to a little girl who has grown up to be the most
beautiful young lady in Spain. That beautiful young lady will be
here to claim you (whichever you are) in half an hour, and I
congratulate that one (whichever it is) with all my heart.
MAR. Married when a baby!
GIU. But we were married three months ago!
DON AL. One of you--only one. The other (whichever it is)
is an unintentional bigamist.
GIA. and TESS. (coming forward). Well, upon my word!
DON AL. Eh? Who are these young people?
TESS. Who are we? Why, their wives, of course. We've just
arrived.
DON AL. Their wives! Oh dear, this is very unfortunate!
Oh dear, this complicates matters! Dear, dear, what will Her
Majesty say?
GIA. And do you mean to say that one of these Monarchs was
already married?
TESS. And that neither of us will be a Queen?
DON AL. That is the idea I intended to convey. (Tessa and
Gianetta begin to cry.)
GIU. (to Tessa). Tessa, my dear, dear child--
TESS. Get away! perhaps it's you!