They pay for permission
To say that they make for the Duchess--

DUKE. They make for the Duchess!

DUKE. Those pressing prevailers,
The ready-made tailors,
Quote me as their great double-barrel--

DUCH. Their great double-barrel--

DUKE. I allow them to do so,
Though Robinson Crusoe
Would jib at their wearing apparel--

DUCH. Such wearing apparel!

DUKE. I sit, by selection,
Upon the direction
Of several Companies bubble--

DUCH. All Companies bubble!

DUKE. As soon as they're floated
I'm freely bank-noted--
I'm pretty well paid for my trouble--

DUCH. He's paid for his trouble!

DUCH. At middle-class party
I play at ecarte--
And I'm by no means a beginner--

DUKE (significantly). She's not a beginner.

DUCH. To one of my station
The remuneration--
Five guineas a night and my dinner--

DUKE. And wine with her dinner.

DUCH. I write letters blatant
On medicines patent--
And use any other you mustn't--

DUKE. Believe me, you mustn't--

DUCH. And vow my complexion
Derives its perfection
From somebody's soap--which it doesn't--

DUKE. (significantly). It certainly doesn't!

DUKE. We're ready as witness
To any one's fitness
To fill any place or preferment--

DUCH. A place or preferment.

DUCH. We're often in waiting
At junket or feting,
And sometimes attend an interment--

DUKE. We enjoy an interment.

BOTH. In short, if you'd kindle
The spark of a swindle,
Lure simpletons into your clutches--
Yes; into your clutches.
Or hoodwink a debtor,
You cannot do better

DUCH. Than trot out a Duke or a Duchess--

DUKE. A Duke or a Duchess!

(Enter Marco and Giuseppe.)

DUKE. Ah!