ine is all creepy with spiders,
And you're highly gamboge in the gill--
When you've got a beehive in your head,
And a sewing machine in each ear,
And you feel that you've eaten your bed,
And you've got a bad headache down here--
When such facts are about,
And these symptoms you find
In your body or crown--
Well, you'd better look out,
You may make up your mind
You had better lie down!

When your lips are all smeary--like tallow,
And your tongue is decidedly yallow,
With a pint of warm oil in your swallow,
And a pound of tin-tacks in your chest--
When you're down in the mouth with the vapours,
And all over your Morris wall-papers
Black-beetles are cutting their capers,
And crawly things never at rest--
When you doubt if your head is your own,
And you jump when an open door slams--
Then you've got to a state which is known
To the medical world as "jim-jams"
If such symptoms you find
In your body or head,
They're not easy to quell--
You may make up your mind
You are better in bed,
For you're not at all well!

(Sinks exhausted and weeping at foot of well.)

Enter LUDWIG.

LUD. Now for my confession and full pardon. They told me
the Grand Duke was dancing duets in the Market-place, but I don't
see him. (Sees RUDOLPH.) Hallo! Who's this? (Aside.) Why, it
is the Grand Duke!
RUD. (sobbing). Who are you, sir, who presume to address
me in person? If you've anything to communicate, you must fling
yourself at the feet of my Acting Temporary Sub-Deputy Assistant
Vice-Chamberlain, who will fling himself at the feet of his
immediate superior, and so on, with successive foot-flingings
through the various grades--your communication will, in course of
time, come to my august knowledge.
LUD. But when I inform your Highness that in me you see
the
most unhappy, the most unfortunate, the most completely miserable
man in your whole dominion--
RUD. (still sobbing). You the most misera