't curse when they were grown up?"

"I don't think they would," I said. "Nor would there be any unprintable
stories if we had a frank sex education. It's a sad fact, Mac, but
nine-tenths of humour is due to early suppression and repression."

"Seems to me," said Mac with a laugh, "that if everybody were
psycho-analysed, the world would be a pretty dull place."

* * * * *

A few days ago I found a pot of light paint in Mac's workshop, and,
impelled by heaven only knows what unconscious process, I painted my
bicycle blue. This morning, the paint being dry, I rode forth into an
unsympathetic world. Women came to their doors to stare at my machine,
and as they stared they broke into laughter. When I reached the village
of Cordyke the school was coming out, and I was greeted with a howl of
derision. I thought it a good instance of crowd psychology; I was
different from the crowd, and I evoked laughter and derision.

After cycling a few miles, I came to an old man breaking stones at the
bottom of a hill. On my approaching he threw down his hammer and turned
to stare at my cycle. I dismounted.

"Almichty me!" he said with surprise. "That's a michty colour!"

"It's unusual," I said, as I lit a cigarette.

He fumbled for his clay pipe.

"I've seen black anes, and I wance saw a silver-plated ane, but I never
heard tell o' a blue bike afore," he said. "Did you pent it?"

I acknowledged that it was my very own handiwork.

"But," he said in puzzled tones, "what was yer idea?" and he stared at it
again. "A michty colour that!"

I threw my bike down on the grass and sat down on the cairn.

"Between you and me," I said mysteriously, "I had to paint it blue."

He raised his eyebrows.

"Yea, man!"

"Government orders," I said carelessly, and began to throw stones at a
tree trunk at the other side of the road.

"Government orders?" He looked very much surprised.

"Yes," I said airily. "You see, it's like this. The Coalition
Government isn't very firmly placed these days, and, well, I'm an agent
for it. Of course, you know that it is really a Tory government, and my
bike, as it were, invites the electorate to vote True Blue."

"Yea, man! I thocht that you was maybe ane o' thae temperance lads frae
Americky."

"Ah!" I said solemnly, "that reminds me; Pussyfoot tried to induce me to
make my tour a sort of joint thing. He suggested that I might carry on
my Tory work, and at th