ly before heard it at Lansdowne
House, from Macaulay. It is cursorily mentioned in Macaulay's "Essays."

When Robert Clive was first in India, a boy of fifteen, clerk in a
merchant's office at St. David's, he accused an officer with whom he was
playing, of cheating at cards, and was challenged by him in consequence.
Clive fired, as it seems, prematurely, and missed his aim. The officer,
at whose mercy he had thus placed himself, advanced to within arm's
length, held the muzzle of his pistol to the youth's forehead, and
summoned him to repeat his accusation. Clive did repeat it, and with
such defiant courage that his adversary was unnerved. He threw down the
weapon, confessed that he had cheated, and rushed out of the room. A
chorus of indignation then broke forth among those who had witnessed the
scene. They declared that the "wronged civilian" should be righted; and
that he who had thus disgraced Her Majesty's Service should be
drummed--if needs be, kicked--out of the regiment. But here Clive
interposed. Not one, he said, of the eleven, whom he addressed by name
and title, had raised a finger to save his life. He would clear scores
with any or all among them who breathed a word against the man who had
spared it. Nor, as the narrative continues, and as the event proved, was
such a word ever spoken.

Clive is supposed to relate this experience, a week before his
self-inflicted death, to a friend who is dining with him; and who,
struck by his depressed mental state, strives to arouse him from it by
the question: which of his past achievements constitutes, in his own
judgment, the greatest proof of courage. He gives the moment in which
the pistol was levelled at his head, as that in which he felt, not most
courage, but most fear. But, as he explains to his astonished listener,
it was not the almost certainty of death, which, for one awful minute,
made a coward of him; it was the bare possibility of a reprieve, which
would have left no appeal from its dishonour. His opponent refused to
fire. He might have done so with words like these:

"Keep your life, calumniator!--worthless life I freely spare:
Mine you freely would have taken--murdered me and my good fame
Both at once--and all the better! Go, and thank your own bad aim
Which permits me to forgive you!..." (vol. xv. p. 105.)

What course would have remained to him but to seize the pistol, and
himself send the bullet into his brain? This tr