n't
you know. It's in the treaty.

_Average Man_ (_looking up from his paper_). It used to be the Latin
for "closed," but I suppose it's altered now.

_First W. I. M._ (_incredulously_). It can't mean that, anyhow. Who
ever heard of a closed sea, I should like to know?

_Second W. I. M._ (_hazarding a suggestion_). It _might_ mean a
harbour, you know, or something of that sort.

_Average Man._ I daresay it _might_ mean that, but it doesn't happen
to be a harbour (_relapses into paper_).

_Second W. I. M._ Oh, well, I only made the suggestion.

[_A pause._

_Inquirer._ But what are they arbitrating about in Paris? It says
(_reading from newspaper_) "When Mr. CARTER, the United States
Counsel, had concluded his speech, he was complimented by the
President, the Baron DE COURCEL, who told him he had spoken on
behalf of humanity." I thought old CARNOT was President of the French
Republic.

_First W. I. M._ So he is.

_Inquirer_. But this paper says Baron DE COURCEL is President.

_Second W. I. M._ Oh, I suppose that's one of CARNOT's titles, All
these blessed foreigners are Barons, or something of that sort.

_Inquirer._ Ah, I suppose that must be it. But what have the French
got to do with the Behring Sea? I thought it was all between us and
the Yankees.

_First W. I. M._ So it is--but the French are arbitrating. That's how
they come into the business. I can't say, personally, I like these
arbitrations. We're always arbitrating now, and giving everything
away. If we think we're right, why can't we say so, and stick to it,
and let the French, and the Yankees, and the Russians, and all the
rest of 'em, take it from us, if they can?

_Second W. I. M._ Take what from us?

_First W. I. M._ Why, whatever it happens to be, the Behring Sea, or
anything else. We're so deuced afraid of everybody now, we never
show fight; it's perfectly sickening. But of course you can't expect
anything else from old GLADSTONE.

_Second W. I. M._ That's right--shove it all on to old GLADSTONE.
But you're wrong this time. It was JO CHAMBERLAIN, one of your
own blessed Unionists, that you're so proud of, who arranged this
arbitration.

_First W. I. M._ I know that, my dear boy; but CHAMBERLAIN was a
Radical then; so where are you now?

[_A pause._

_Inquirer_ (_who has continued his reading, suddenly, with a puzzled
air_). I say, you know, this is too much of a good thing, bringing
the Russians into the busi