of ARGYLL, was
mild in the extreme. If something out of the common had taken place,
it would have been far more satisfactory. To make my meaning plainer,
I give roughly (in dramatic form) what should have happened to have
made the action worthy of the occasion.

SCENE--_A Drawing-room. Lady entertaining_ Mr. _and_ Mrs. G. _at tea.
A loud knock heard without._

_Mrs. G._ (_greatly agitated_). Oh dear, I am sure it is he!

_Mr. G._ (_with calm dignity_). Do not fear--if he appears, I shall
know how to deal with him.

_Lady_ (_pale but calm_). Nay, my good, kind friends, believe me, you
shall not suffer from the indiscretion of the servant.

_Mrs. G._ (_pushing her husband into a cupboard_). Nay, WILLIAM, for
my sake! And now to conceal myself, so that he may not suspect his
presence by my proximity. [_Hides behind the curtains._

_The Duke of Argyll_ (_breaking open the door, and entering
hurriedly_). And now, Madam, where is my hated foe? I have tracked him
to this house. It is useless to attempt to conceal him.

_The Lady_ (_laughing uneasily_). Nay, your Grace, you are too
facetious! Trace the PREMIER here! Next you will be saying that he and
his good lady were taking tea with me.

_The Duke_ (_suspiciously_). And, no doubt, so they were! This empty
cup, that half-devoured muffin--to whom do they belong?

_The Lady_ (_with forced gaiety_). Might I not have entertained Mr.
and Mrs. JOSEPH CHAMBERLAIN, my Lord Duke?

_The Duke_ (_aside_). Can I believe her? (_Aloud._) But if it is as
you say, I will send away my clansmen who throng the street without.
(_Opens window and calls._) _Gang a waddy Caller Herring!_ They will
now depart. (_A sneeze heard off._) What was that?

_The Lady_ (_terrified_). I fancy it was the wind--the cold wind--and
now, believe me, Mr. GLADSTONE will abandon Home Rule.

_Mr. G._ (_suddenly appearing_). Never! I tell you to your face that
you are a traitor! [_Sneezes, and hurriedly closes the window._

_The Duke_ (_savagely_). That sneeze shall be your last!

[_Takes up a knife lying on the table._

_Mr. G._ (_repeating the action_). I am ready, Sir!

_Mrs. G._ (_rushing between them_). Oh, WILLIAM! Do not fight!

_The Lady_ (_falling on her knees_). I prithee stay!

_Mr. G._ Never! May the better man win!

_The Duke._ So be it!

[_The Scene closes in upon a desperate duel. Curtain._

_There, Mr. Punch!_ What do you think of that? Still, perhaps, under
the circumstances of