*

ON THE INCOME-TAX.

[By an already over-burdened tax-payer who derived neither
enlightenment nor comfort from the wordy war about a "Graduated
Income-Tax" between Mr. BARTLEY and Sir WILLIAM HARCOURT.]

"Graduation" seems vexation,
"Differentiation" looks as bad.
Their the-o-rie
It puzzles me.
But their _practice_ drives me mad!

* * * * *

"THAT'S SWEAR IT IS!"--In bygone days, when the Princess's was under
the management of Mr. and Mrs. CHARLES KEAN, there was a fine imposed
on any member of the company who should make use of bad language
in the Green-Room. One evening a distinguished actor so far forgot
himself as to let slip an expletive of three simple letters, whereat
Mrs. KEAN held up her hands in horror and quitted the room, followed
by the actresses who happened to be present. Subsequently some wag at
the Garrick Club wrote a song whereof the burden was "The Man who said
'dam' in the Green-Room." _Tempora mutantur_, and now, at the Avenue
Theatre, under the management of Mr. and Mrs. KENDAL in the Green-Room
and behind the scenes, as well as on the stage, "DAM" will be in
everyone's mouth, as this happens to be the name of the Author of
their latest successful production.

* * * * *

THE NEWEST TALE OF A TUB.

(_By a Sufferer from the Modern Laundry System._)

Rub-a-rub-rub!
Three ghouls at a tub:
Our shirts and our collars they savagely scrub.
The fronts they make bagged,
The wristbands quite jagged,
And send home our linen all rotten and ragged!

Scrub-a-scrub-scrub!
Three fiends at a tub:
In chemical bleachings they dabble and grub.
Our shirts each bespatters
Then brush them to tatters.
The wearers get mad as March hares or as hatters!

Rub-a-scrub-scrub!
Three hags at a tub:
They scrape with a wire-brush, and pound with a club!
Smash buttons, burst stitches,
And--swell Laundry riches!
_Who'll save us from this cauldron-tub's dread Three Witches?_

* * * * *

The Stock Exchange, _Mr. Punch_ understands, has gone into politics.
With a view to test the knowledge of the brokers who "proceshed" to
the Guildhall, he asks them,--What is the Commission upon Evicted
Tenants? All sellers, no buyers.

* * *