ain any time by it. You may
take a horse to the Grand Committee, but you can't make him discuss
your Bill."

_Business done._--Budget Bill through.

* * * * *

Q. E. D.

(_By a Grumpy Old Bachelor._)

"'Tis a mad world, my masters!" Grim LOMBROSO
Corroborates mild SHAKSPEARE in this matter.
And, though _his_ demonstration seems but so-and-so,
No doubt the world's as mad as any hatter,
The sweeter sex especially! 'Tis sad,
But that rule's absolute, depend upon it!
'Tis obvious all women _must_ be mad,
Because--there is a "b" in _every_ bonnet!

* * * * *

WILDER IDEAS;

_Or, Conversation as she is spoken at the Haymarket._

_The Disciple._ Ah, that supper after the Theatre! It was the
unspeakable following the unplayable. I feel so seedy!

_The Master._ Nay, but have I not told you that the two letters to
follow "X. S." are "S. and B.?" And you have yourself said that "Soda
and Brandy is the last refuge of the--digestion."

_The Disciple._ Hang it! I can survive everything--except the cast-off
clothes of my own epigrams,--or, by the bye, death.

[_Exit from this life, to prove it._

* * * * *

Mem. on the Behring-Sea Business.

A Forty-hours' speech by magniloquent CARTER!
That Behring Tribunal has caught a Tartar!
Whatever the upshot one cannot but feel
'Tis a fine illustration of "Say and Seal!"
Though _Bunsby_ might say of this lengthy oration,
"The _Behring_ will lie in the application."

* * * * *

APPROPRIATE SONG (_for anybody connected with the Tourist-Managing
firm of Gaze, on hearing a Lady say that she was "going to try a
Cook."_)

"Ah me! she has gone from our Gaze,
That beautiful girl from our door!"

(_The remainder can be added ad libitum, and sung whenever opportunity
permits._)

* * * * *

"A MOVE ON THE BOARD" IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION.--Our Surprising
School-Board has voted in favour of allowing its Industrial School
youths to enjoy "reasonable recreation" on Sundays. Its version of Sir
WILLIAM JONES'S distich would be something as follows:--

The morn at Church, the afternoon at play,
Will serve to while the Day of Rest away.

Apparently it looks favourably on a modicum of Sunday Cricket or
Football, and does not taboo even the enormity of Lawn-tennis.
As against that em