ng on one side of Melchior, Timothy on
the other, and Num with his trumpet, holding on by one of the scaffold
poles at the corner.

"Sound the trumpet, Philotas," said Melchior, taking off his
three-cornered hat, and making a low bow to the audience, at every
blast. "Pray, Mr Fool, do you know why you sound the trumpet?"

"I'm sure I don't know," replied Num, opening his goggle eyes.

"Do you know, Mr Dionysius?"

"Yes, sir, I can guess."

"Explain, then, to the gentlemen and ladies who have honoured us with
their presence."

"Because, sir, trumpets are always sounded before great conquerors."

"Very true, sir; but how am I a great conqueror?"

"You have conquered death, sir; and he's a very rum customer to have to
deal with."

"Dionysius, you have answered well, and shall have some bullock's liver
for your supper--don't forget to remind me, in case I forget it."

"No, that I won't, sir," replied Timothy, rubbing his stomach, as if
delighted with the idea.

"Ladies and gentlemen," said Melchior to the audience, who were on the
broad grin, "I see your souths are all open, and are waiting for the
pills; but a lot too impatient--I cannot part with my medicine unless
you have diseases which require their aid; and I should, indeed, be a
sorry doctor, if I prescribed without knowing your complaints. _Est
neutrale genus signans rem non animatam_, says Herodotus, which in
English means, what is one man's meat is another man's poison; and
further, he adds, _Ut jecur, ut onus, put ut occiput_, which is as much
as to say, that what agrees with one temperament, will be injurious to
another. Caution, therefore, becomes very necessary in the use of
medicine; and my reputation depends upon my not permitting anyone to
take what is not good for him. And now, my very dear friends, I will
first beg you to observe the peculiar qualities of the contents of this
little phial. You observe, that there is not more than sixty drops in
it, yet will these sixty drops add ten years to a man's life--for it
will cure him of almost as many diseases. In the first place, are any
of you troubled with the _ascites_, or dropsy, which, as the celebrated
Galen hath declared, may be divided into three parts, the _ascites_, the
_anasarca_, and the _tympanites_. The diagnostics of this disease are,
swelling of the abdomen or stomach, difficulty of breathing, want of
appetite, and a teazing cough. I say, have any of you this disease?
None.