ses with the
Esquimaux. He hath used the chopsticks with the Chinese, swung the
Cherok pooga with the Hindoos, and put a new nose on the Great Cham of
Tartary. He hath visited and been received in every court of Europe:
danced on the ice of the Neva with the Russians--led the mazurka with
the Poles--waltzed with the Germans--tarantulaed with the Italians--
fandangoed with the Spanish--and quadrilled with the French. He hath
explored every mine in the universe, walked through every town on the
Continent, examined every mountain in the world, ascended Mont Blanc,
walked down the Andes, and run up the Pyrenees. He has been into every
volcano in the globe, and descending by Vesuvius has been thrown up by
Stromboli. He has lived more than a thousand years, and is still in the
flower of his youth. He has had one hundred and forty sets of teeth one
after another, and expects a new set next Christmas. His whole life has
been spent in the service of mankind, and in doing good to his
fellow-creatures; and having the experience of more than a thousand
years, he cures more than a thousand diseases. Gentlemen, the wonderful
doctor will present himself before you this evening, and will then tell
you what his remedies are good for, so that you may pick and choose
according to your several complaints. Ladies, the wonderful doctor can
greatly assist you: he has secrets by which you may have a family if you
should so wish--philters to make husbands constant, and salve to make
them blind--cosmetics to remove pimples and restore to youth and beauty,
and powders to keep children from squalling. Sound the trumpet,
Philotas; sound, and let everybody know that the wonderful Doctor
Appallacheosmo Commetico has vouchsafed to stop here and confer his
blessings upon the inhabitants of this town." Hereupon Num again blew
the trumpet till he was black in the face; and Timothy, dropping on his
donkey, rode away to other parts of the town, where he repeated his
grandiloquent announcement, followed, as may be supposed, by a numerous
cortege of little ragged boys.

About four o'clock in the afternoon. Melchior made his appearance in
the market-place, attended by me, dressed as a German student, Timothy
and Num in their costumes. A stage had been already prepared, and the
populace had crowded round it more with the intention of laughing than
of making purchases. The various packets were opened and arranged in
front of the platform, I standi