tlemen, I shall now offer to your notice a valuable
plaster, the effects of which are miraculous. Dionysius, come hither,
you have felt the benefit of this plaster; tell your case to those who
are present, and mind you tell the truth."

Hereupon Timothy stepped forward. "Ladies and gentlemen, _upon my
honour_, about three weeks back I fell off the scaffold, broke my back
bone into three pieces, and was carried off to a surgeon, who looked at
me, and told the people to take measure for my coffin. The great doctor
was not there at the time, having been sent for to consult with the
king's physicians upon the queen's case, of _Cophagus_, or intermitting
mortification of the great toe; but fortunately, just as they were
putting me into a shell, my master came back, and immediately applying
his sovereign plaster to my back, in five days I was able to sit up, and
in ten days I returned to my duty."

"Are you quite well now, Dionysius?"

"Quite well, sir, and my back is like whalebone."

"Try it."

Hereupon Dionysius threw two somersets forward, two backward, walked
across the stage on his hands, and tumbled in every direction.

"You see, gentlemen, I'm quite well now, and what I have said, I assure
you, _on my honour_, to be a fact."

"I hope you'll allow that to be a very pretty cure," said the doctor,
appealing to the audience; "and I hardly need say, that for sprains,
bruises, contusions, wrenches, and dislocations, this plaster is
infallible; and I will surprise you more by telling you, that I can sell
it for eight-pence a sheet."

The plaster went off rapidly, and was soon expended. The doctor went on
describing his other valuable articles, and when he came to his
cosmetics, etcetera, for women, we could not hand them out fast enough.
"And now," said the doctor. "I must bid you farewell for this evening."

"I'm glad of that," said Timothy, "for now I mean to sell my own
medicine."

"Your medicine, Mr Dionysius! what do you mean by that?"

"Mean, sir; I mean to say that I've got a powder of my own contriving,
which is a sovereign remedy."

"Remedy, sir, for what?"

"Why, it's a powder to kill fleas, and what's more, it's just as
infallible as your own."

"Have you, indeed; and pray, sir, how did you hit upon the invention?"

"Sir, I discovered it in my sleep by accident; but I have proved it, and
I will say, if properly administered, it is quite as infallible as any
of yours. Ladies and gentlemen,