nd a
selection of such jests--choice specimens of Oriental Wit and
Humour--gleaned from a great variety of sources, will, I trust, amuse
readers in general, and lovers of funny anecdotes in particular.

* * * * *

To begin, then--_place aux dames_! In most Asiatic countries the ladies
are at a sad discount in the estimation of their lords and masters,
however much the latter may expatiate on their personal charms, and in
Eastern jests this is abundantly shown. For instance, a Persian poet,
through the importunity of his friends, had married an old and very ugly
woman, who turned out also of a very bad temper, and they had constant
quarrels. Once, in a dispute, the poet made some comparisons between his
aged wife and himself and between Night and Day. "Cease your nonsense,"
said she; "night and day were created long before us." "Hold a little,"
said the husband. "I know they were created long before me, but whether
before _you_, admits of great doubt!" Again, a Persian married, and, as
is customary with Muslims, on the marriage night saw his bride's face
for the first time, when she proved to be very ugly--perhaps
"plain-looking" were the more respectful expression. A few days after
the nuptials, she said to him: "My life! as you have many relatives, I
wish you would inform me before which of them I may unveil." (Women of
rank in Muslim countries appear unveiled only before very near
relations.) "My soul!" responded the husband, "if thou wilt but conceal
thy face from _me_, I care not to whom thou showest it." And there is a
grim sort of humour in the story of the poor Arab whose wife was going
on a visit of condolence, when he said to her: "My dear, if you go, who
is to take care of the children, and what have you left for them to
eat?" She replied: "As I have neither flour, nor milk, nor butter, nor
oil, nor anything else, what can I leave?" "You had better stay at home,
then," said the poor man; "for assuredly _this_ is the true house of
condolence." And also in the following: A citizen of Tawris, in
comfortable circumstances, had a daughter so very ugly that nothing
could induce any one to marry her. At length he resolved to bestow her
on a blind man, hoping that, not seeing her personal defects, he would
be kind to her. His plan succeeded, and the blind man lived very happily
with his wife. By-and-by, there arrived in the city a doctor who was
celebrated for restoring sight to many pe