o tell it to madame, she was so affected that she fell
dead also without speaking." "Rascal! in place of flying
away, why hast thou not gone to seek assistance, or why
didst thou not remain at the chateau?" "There is no more
need, sire; for Marotte, in watching madame, fell
asleep. A light caused the fire, and there remains
nothing now."--Truly a delicate way of "breaking ill
news"!

The Samradian sect of fire-worshippers, who believe only in the "ideal,"
anticipated Bishop Berkeley's theory, thus referred to by Lord Byron
(_Don Juan_, xi, 1):

When Bishop Berkeley said, "there was no matter,"
And proved it--'twas no matter what he said;
They say, his system 'tis in vain to batter,
Too subtle for the airiest human head.

Some amusing anecdotes regarding this singular sect are given in the
Dabistan, a work written in Persian, which furnishes a very impartial
account of the principal religions of the world: A Samradian said to his
servant: "The world and its inhabitants have no actual existence--they
have merely an ideal being." The servant, on hearing this, took the
first opportunity to steal his master's horse, and when he was about to
ride, brought him an ass with the horse's saddle. When the Samradian
asked: "Where is the horse?" he replied: "Thou hast been thinking of an
idea; there was no horse in being." The master said: "It is true," and
then mounted the ass. Having proceeded some distance, followed by his
servant on foot, he suddenly dismounted, and taking the saddle off the
back of the ass placed it on the servant's back, drawing the girths
tightly, and, having forced the bridle into his mouth, he mounted him,
and flogged him along vigorously. The servant having exclaimed in
piteous accents: "What is the meaning of this, O master?" the Samradian
replied: "There is no such thing as a whip; it is merely ideal. Thou art
thinking only of a delusion." It is needless to add that the servant
immediately repented and restored the horse.--Another of this sect
having obtained in marriage the daughter of a wealthy lawyer, she, on
finding out her husband's peculiar creed, purposed to have some
amusement at his expense. One day the Samradian brought home a bottle of
excellent wine, which during his absence she emptied of its contents and
filled again with water. When the time came for taking wine, she poured
out the water into a gold cup, which Was her o