eclared obstinately.

She shook her head.

"What I'm afraid of is that the world isn't made that way--for you--for
me. We're permitted to seize those other things because they're just
baubles, we've both found out how worthless they are. And the worst of it
is they've made me a coward, Hugh. It isn't that I couldn't do without
them, I've come to depend on them in another way. It's because they give
me a certain protection,--do you see? they've come to stand in the place
of the real convictions we've lost. And--well, we've taken the baubles,
can we reach out our hands and take--this? Won't we be punished for it,
frightfully punished?"

"I don't care if we are," I said, and surprised myself.

"But I care. It's weak, it's cowardly, but it's so. And yet I want to
face the situation--I'm trying to get you to face it, to realize how
terrible it is."

"I only know that I want you above everything else in the world--I'll
take care of you--"

I seized her arms, I drew her down to me.

"Don't!" she cried. "Oh, don't!" and struggled to her feet and stood
before me panting. "You must go away now--please, Hugh. I can't bear any
more--I want to think."

I released her. She sank into the chair and hid her face in her hands....

As may be imagined, the incident I have just related threw my life into a
tangle that would have floored a less persistent optimist and romanticist
than myself, yet I became fairly accustomed to treading what the old
moralists called the devious paths of sin. In my passion I had not
hesitated to lay down the doctrine that the courageous and the strong
took what they wanted,--a doctrine of which I had been a consistent
disciple in the professional and business realm. A logical buccaneer,
superman, "master of life" would promptly have extended this doctrine to
the realm of sex. Nancy was the mate for me, and Nancy and I, our
development, was all that mattered, especially my development. Let every
man and woman look out for his or her development, and in the end the
majority of people would be happy. This was going Adam Smith one better.
When it came to putting that theory into practice, however, one needed
convictions: Nancy had been right when she had implied that convictions
were precisely what we lacked; what our world in general lacked. We had
desires, yes convictions, no. What we wanted we got not by defying the
world, but by conforming to it: we were ready to defy only when our
desires overcame t