r
two less than six feet high now, and thick in proportion: By my body, such
a woman wou'd look noble by the side of me when she was entient.

TRUEMAN. Oh, monstrous! Entient! an entient woman by the side of an antient
husband! Most preposterous, unnatural, and altogether incongruous!

LOVEYET. Poh, a fig for your high-flown nonsense. I suppose you think it
would cost me a great deal of trouble.

TRUEMAN. No, no; some clever young blade will save you the trouble.

LOVEYET. By my body, I should love dearly to have such a partner; she would
be a credit to me when she had me under the arm.

TRUEMAN. Under the _thumb_, you mean.

LOVEYET. Under the _Devil_, _you_ mean.

TRUEMAN. You're right; you might as well be under the Devil's government as
petticoat government; you're perfectly right there.

LOVEYET. I'm not perfectly right;--I--I--I mean _you_ are not perfectly
right; and as for her age, why I should like her to be--let me see--about
ten years younger than myself: a man shou'd be at least ten years older
than his wife.

TRUEMAN. Ten years; fifty-three and ten are sixty-three. Then you mean your
wife shall be fifty-three years of age.

LOVEYET. S'death, sir! I tell you I am but two and forty years old: She
sha'n't be more than thirty odd, sir, and she shall be ten years younger
than I am too.

TRUEMAN. Yes, thirty odd years younger than _you_ are; ha, ha. The exiguity
of those legs is a most promising earnest of your future exploits, and
demonstrate your agility, virility, salubrity, and amorosity; ha, ha, ha. I
can't help laughing to think what a blessed union there will be between
August and December; a jolly, buxom, wanton, wishful, plethoric female of
thirty odd, to an infirm, decrepit, consumptive, gouty, rheumatic,
asthmatic, phlegmatic mortal of near seventy; ha, ha. Exquisitely droll
and humourous, upon my erudition. It puts me in mind of a hot bed in a hard
winter, surrounded with ice, and made verdant and flourishing only by
artificial means.

LOVEYET. Pshaw, you're a fool!

_Enter TOUPEE._

TOUPEE. Pardonnez moy, monsieur. I hope it not be any intrusion; par dieu,
I will not frize dat Jantemon a la mode Paris no more, becase he vas fronte
me.

TRUEMAN. What's the matter, Mr. Toupee?

TOUPEE. I vill tella your honare of the fracas. I vas vait on monsieur
a--choses, and make ma compliment avec beaucoup de grace, ven monsieur vas
read de news papier; so I say, is your honare ready for be dre